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Diana gets home from school. She immediately goes online.

Diana: OMG, Mike, my life is the worst!

Mike: Why?

Diana: WHY DID YOU SEND ME A ONE WORD MESSAGE?! ARE YOU MAD AT ME?!

Mike: No.

Diana: (gets offline)

Diana then runs to her room and cries for three hours because she thinks Mike is mad at her, because he sent her a one word message. Stupid, right? This ACTUALLY happens.

Tommy is finished with baseball practice. He goes online. Shocker.

Tommy: Practice was super frickin’ awesome today! Johnny got hit in the face with a bat! Haha! What a loser!!!!!!

(Tommy gets a notification :“Levi commented on your status”)

Levi: Haha! Johnny is such a freak! Yesterday I saw him pick his nose in front of the entire class! I was like.....NUH UH!!!!!!

Tommy: We should do something super mean to him, to lower his self esteem, and make him feel super bad about himself!

Levi: YEAH! LET’S POUR MILK DOWN HIS PANTS!

Tommy: Idk, he might like that! I’m sure he enjoys wetting his pants!

(Tommy gets another notification: “Johnny commented on your status”)

Johnny: Thanks guys.........................

Tommy: (gets offline)

















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Debby and her friend get home from school. They just got done with chess club practice. They go online to look through their least favorite girl, Ashley’s photos. Yeah, girls do that. Its creepy, and kind of stalker-ish.

“ Oh my God, Trina look at her in this photo!” Debby says to her friend, who is sitting right next to her.

“Yeah, she looks ugly! I don’t get why guys like her! She makes me sick!”

“Ew, in this picture she looks like a sumo wrestler!” Trina points at the screen.

“Should I comment on it?” Debby asks Trina..

“Yeah! Tell her she looks like a walrus!” Trina laughs.

Debby starts to type. She then pushes enter.

(Ashley gets a notification: “Debby commented on your photo”)

Debby: Hey Ashley, you look like a freakin’ walrus in this picture! Haha

Ashley: Um, do you think you can stop commenting on my pictures, you loser?

Debby then becomes frightened, and deletes her comment, and gets offline immediately.

Patty gets online after her boyfriend breaks up with her. She changes her relationship status from: “in a relationship” to “single”.

(Patty gets a notification: “3 people commented on your relationship status.”)

Jenn: OMG, do you wanna talk about it?!

Rachel: what happened!? :(

Kim: Oh no, im sorry hun!

Patty: Please shut up guys, it’s not even a big deal.

(Patty gets a notification: “33 people like your relationship status”)



















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Danny gets online to talk about his favorite movie. It’s a good thing EVERYONE cares. (That was sarcasm)

Danny: OMG Grease is such a good movie!

(Danny gets a notification: “ Gabe commented on your status”)

Gabe: Kill yourself...................

Danny: RUDE!

Now that we’ve covered pretty much everything teenagers do on Facebook, let’s cover what the adults do! Quinn gets online after a long day at the office.

Quinn checks his notifications, reads people’s status updates, and looks through his mother-in law’s pictures. Then he gets offline.



This is why adults don’t need Facebooks. Anyway, back to the teenagers. Hank gets online after swim practice. He starts to chat with his crush, Stacey. She hates him, by the way.

Hank: Hey baby, want to hang later?

Stacey: Please don’t talk to me.

Hank: So I’m thinking we should go to lunch together tomorrow!

Stacey: Seriously?

Hank: Then we should go to a movie after school!

Stacey: omg, you can’t take a hint, can you?

Hank: Or we could go ice skating or something

Stacey: Please Hank, I kind of hate you, so could you stop messaging me? It’s getting ridiculous.

Hank: So I’ll pick you up at 7

Stacey: Im calling the cops.
















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Diana gets back online. You know, the girl who thinks Mike is mad at her. She continues to believe Mike hates her, so she makes a status expressing how she feels.

Diana: I don’t get why everyone hates me. Im just trying to live my life and be myself. I’ve been through a lot this week, and I’d appreciate if you would stop being so mean to me! Im tired of fake friends and everything! I just want to go to an island were nobody can bother me, or say mean things. Im done with all of you. Im done with everything! I HATE my life. Don’t bother trying to make me feel better. IM DONE!!!!! :(

Mike: Shut up
















































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