Field Guide to Teenagers

November 8, 2011
By Anonymous

Introduction: Teenagers can seem quite menacing when viewed from afar. Their unpredictable behavior and strange fashion choices can confuse even the most educated person. For that reason, I have compiled a basic field guide consisting of the most common species of teenagers, which consists of Nerds, Preps, Jocks, Goths/Emos, and Punks. For each species, I will briefly describe the appearance, behavior, and habitat.

Appearance: Sweater vests and comic book apparel, high waisted pants, glasses and braces, mismatched clothing.

Behavior: Nerds are often spotted with calculators in their shirt pockets and comic books. In extreme cases, they may even reenact scenes of Star Trek with action figurines.

Habitat: Nerds are often found in the Math room, the library, and the computer lab.

Appearance: Polo shirts, anything with Abercrombie & Fitch or Hollister slapped across it, overly expensive outfits. Note: Preps can appear orange in summer months from spray tans.

Behavior: Preps always travel in packs. They often make fun of the Nerds and the Goths/Emos.

Habitat: Preps are found in malls and the largest, loudest table in the cafeteria.

Appearance: Jerseys, basketball shorts, Nike/Adidas apparel, track suits.

Behavior: Jocks are generally a rowdy group. They, much like the Preps, travel in packs. Everything is about sports for Jocks, nothing else matters to them.

Habitat: Jocks will be found on the football field and the school gymnasium.

Appearance: Black clothing, Converse/Vans shoes, Chains, band shirts, heavy eyeliner, multicolored or black hair.

Behavior: Goths and Emos are the dark counterpart of Preps. They claim to be nonconformists, but they all look the same. They travel in packs and make rude comments about anyone not in their group.

Habitat: Goths and Emos can be found in the art room and deserted hallways.

Appearance: Colorful Mohawks, clothing held together with safety pins, Anarchy symbols, Converse.

Behavior: Punks can be somewhat unreliable in behavior. While some go to punk rock shows, others are active protesters.

Habitat: Punks can be found at rock shows and skate parks.
Closing: I hope this small guide helped you to understand the strange acts of teenagers. Even though this guide only contains a small portion of the many species of teen, it should help you get started on the road to understanding.

The author's comments:
For English

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