My family… isn’t the kind of family you want to go out in public with. If you do go out in public with my family, you are bound to get embarrassed. My parents love to talk about when their kids were babies. They tell embarrassing stories to strangers, who, in turn, tell stories about their children. At least I’m not the only one who has to live with an embarrassing mom and dad. My sister, Carol, loves to dance, but she sucks. Not even kidding. When we are out to eat, she gets on the table and dances in front of EVERYONE. It is so embarrassing. Then, my brother gets up and dances too.

One time, me and my mom were at Kohl’s and, well, guess what she did? She stripped in the middle of the store to try on a dress. The only reason she didn’t go into a fitting room is because they were all taken. We got kicked out. My mom wasn’t the happiest when we were in the car. I asked her if I could turn on the radio and she just glared at me and smacked the steering wheel. Then, she pulled into McDonald’s and ordered me a happy meal. She made it sound like I was a little kid who couldn’t finish a big kid’s meal. She ordered without my consent, and when the woman working the drive-thru handed my mom the meal, she looked at me and said, “This is for the little cutie.”

At another time, my dad embarrassed me. He took me out to a fancy restaurant for the first time. I was so excited. When we got there, we got seated and I scanned through the menu. I heard a muffled sound and I peeked over the menu. Everyone was looking this way. Guess who they were looking at? It was my dad. He was now standing on the booth and farting carelessly. Maybe he forgot we were in a five star restaurant. Maybe he forgot that over fifty people were in the restaurant and watching him fart away unsophisticatedly. I have no idea. I just know that my dad is very, VERY embarrassing. Oh, and did I forget to mention that we got kicked out of there, too?

Okay, my family may be embarrassing whenever we are out doing something in public, but when we are all home alone, they are normal. I mean, my family has their moments when they just whack out randomly. But I love them. I mean, I probably have embarrassed them once or twice in my lifetime. It’s only fair that I get embarrassed sometimes. But, I really do not find it necessary for them to embarrass me every single time we go out of the house. I mean, how would you feel if you were at a restaurant right at this second, and your sister was peering over your shoulder, reading the story you are writing loud enough for everyone to hear. But, she is only embarrassing the family, because, she isn’t smart enough to realize that everyone now knows how embarrassing she really is.