the beggining, of the end

October 15, 2011
By LilahPap BRONZE, Leopold, Other
LilahPap BRONZE, Leopold, Other
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I awoke to the first morning on this strange world, not knowing if I was really alive without you. I am a flower, but you where my petals. You where the only reason im still alive today. I was the moon, you where my stars. There are just to many ways of expressing what you mean to me. And while I sit here and think about what to write, I am caught up in this silly little dream I had of you dying. I sat there and I listened to our favorite band for the whole night. I sat there and cried. I cried about losing you, and me getting so depressed I wouldn’t eat, sleep and all I would do was write and listen to our songs. I wouldn’t even talk to my best friend.
And that’s how it is now. I ran to you, in the middle of the night but you where gone already. I regret so much I did that night. Thinking, maybe if I ran faster I would have seen her. Perhaps she wouldn’t have died if I ran faster. Even though my feet were bleeding. You where calling to me continuously, I could hear you in my head. And I still hear it today, in dreams and in real life. In my dream I came to Bannockburn and I came to your house. Your mum let me inside and I went upstairs and all your stuff was gone. I kept asking everyone why it was gone but no one would tell me. So I sat in the corner of your room and just cried.
When I woke up some one was shaking me, I couldn’t believe this person was here, they hadn’t talked to me in ages. They said ‘Lilah quick get up, Bekk's been in a car accident.’ At that point I realized what was happening, it wasn’t a dream. It was a vision. I knew what was going to happen. Knowing was not a good thing at this stage, it was just terrifying. So I did a massive ninja jump out of bed and ran outside. I cried endlessly the whole way there. Knowing what would happen. I got out of the car and the person said, ‘run, you know where to go, she’s calling for you!’ That was when the voices started. ‘ Just run Lilah, run!’ the person was screaming out from the car. So I was running like I've never ran before. Bolting up the hallways even though it was a hospital I've never been to before, pushed the door so dramatically open, then sprinted up the hallway, as if my life was at stake, and it was, I then ran into your room without checking the number because I knew it was yours, and all I could see was your mum with a nurse by her side patting her on the back while she was holding your battered, lifeless hand. I ran up to your bed and I was screaming ‘Bekk, no Bekk. I'm here, in here!’ but you where gone already.
For a second I thought you opened your eyes, but then reality hit me. ‘This isn’t real’ I was thinking. ‘She’s going to be alive. Dreams don’t come true.’
But this one did. So now I sit here thinking what I would do if this situation did come to life, and I work out that I would have to do exactly that. Exactly what I did, because I can’t run any faster, I can’t wake up and wait out the front for the person that I thought hated me to just turn up.
So now I have myself thinking. Why did these people come and get me? How did I know how to get to your hospital room? Why was she calling for me? Wondering isn’t helping though. I needed answers. And I still do. Now I'm scared to death.
I loved you with all my heart, because you where the only one who mattered to me. I don’t know what in going to do without you. You where my only family. So here I am, at the beginning. Of the end.
Life as a matter of fact is just a dream, and even reality itself can’t beat it. We don’t know what’s actually happening in life, so grab it. Before it all crumbles away into dust. Like what happened to mine.

The author's comments:
This was a dream I had, a while ago

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