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Starry Night

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You are staring into an endless sky were an unlimited amount of stars. The longer you stare at the night sky the more the stars begin to shift into something familiar. A face, in fact, your face as you are looking into the stars they are looking right back at you. The feeling of being empty and alone is no longer in your mind. As you start to notice that face is not yours anymore but a different one; unfamiliar. As the face shifts into a different one you begin to wonder, you are not the only person out there.
As you are watching the sky thinking about an endless life, a perfect life that could never end; you see that there is also someone else out there looking right back at you probably thinking the same thing. The nighttime sky begins to brighten the color of bright orange begins to fill the sky. The face in the sky begins to disappear. You look at the sun as it begins to climb over the horizon, slowly waking up, as it is time for the moon to rest. Switching shifts to watch over its child; Earth.
As the beautiful shining sun is set in the sky, you realize it is time to go home. Home; there is no home. Unless you consider a broken family a home, feeling unprotected. Unlike, the Earth who has the Sun and the Moon watching over it protecting it from harm, giving it life, and letting it grow. Wishing you had something like that is hurtful and hard to imagine having the exact opposite. Someone to watch over you and keep you from harm from others or yourself is something you most desire.
Thinking of the face in the sky in the stars, you start to wonder. What if you are being watched over? Maybe, by a guardian angel, God, or another life form: than reality hits your brain there is no such thing. If you had a guardian angel than they would have never let you become who you are, let you make the mistakes you have. God is too occupied with answering other prayers and keeping the world in line. While other life forms may exist but there is no way that, they could waste their time to watch over you.
Driving down Long Street, you see the old church that you use to attend when you were little. You remember what Father Jones use to talk about Heaven and Hell. Heaven were the guardians of the Golden Gate stood and welcomed pure souls into the magnificent utopia that God made for his children. However, there is a place the exact opposite of this Utopia. It is called Hell. This is demons wait for sinners to come to the fiery gates of Hell. Were these impure souls are sent there forever to be tormented by demons and witches.
As you, reminisce about church and what you were taught. A single tear begins to trail down your cheek. Not because you remember your childhood and how wonderful it use to be, that is not why you begin to cry, it is because you know where you will end up when your life is over. Hell, Hell beckons you forth, it wants you, your unpurified soul to have and torture for all eternity. As many times as you have repented and asked God for forgiveness, do you really think he will forgive you?

Of course, you have not stepped in foot in that church since you were fifteen years old. You fear that God will judge you as soon as you step foot into those doors that the statue of Virgin Mary will cry because of what you did. That God will never forgive you and as soon as you step foot on that church ground you will burn. However, how can you expect someone to forgive you if you cannot forgive yourself?
You were only fifteen not knowing who you were, you not only ruined your life but the life of you family. Your mother cries herself to sleep every night. Your father disappeared the night of the tragedy. No one else in your family speaks to you. Failing to recognize that not all of it was your fault: you had no idea that, that night would happen. That you would lose your little brother at only six years old, he was a beautiful baby. Dark skinned, light caramel eyes and a laugh that would make anyone smile. He was an angel, when he was born he barely cried. He certainly would have been a great child smart and handsome.
You did not know that this would happen though. You did not know that the men you robbed that night would find you. That they would have the slightest idea where you live, but they did, they found you. It was horrible, having a peaceful night watching your little brother that night. The next thing you know you hear loud noises, flashes of light, screaming, a pain in your left thigh, and the sight of your baby brother falling down to the carpet. A drive by, the men came to your house and shot it down.
Ever since than no one has seem to forgive you, your whole family in tears, no one can even stand to look at your face. Therefore, you escape into the night, alone and scared. You never went to find those men to afraid that they would do so much worse than they did that night. You look up at the sky, staring into the stars; they start to shift to the same face you saw the night before. This time the stars was much more familiar, you saw that beautiful face. Your baby brother, he is watching you, he is your guardian. He forgave you, isn’t it time to forgive yourself?





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