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A Beautiful Nightmare
It was a mirage of images, then suddenly I’m sitting in an expensive leather seat in a black Tesla 400 electric car. I’ve got an iPhone 4 in one hand and a blackberry curve sitting on the dash-board. And both cellphones are beeping up a storm. Well, clearly I’m dreaming. And clearly this is a futuristic dream, as I don’t own either an iPhone 4, and a blackberry. I especially don’t own a Tesla electric car, although that hasn’t stopped be from wishing. Looking down I realize I’m wearing a very sleek black-and-pink pinstripe suit. With, holy smokes! Are those Prada heels?
Damn. I certainly shoot for the stars when I let my sub-conscious gain control.
I turn my head to the left, and a very attractive guy is sitting in the passenger seat. Hold the phone, if this is a dream shouldn’t I know everyone in it?
I turn to him and snap loudly, “ What?”
He glared at me. “ Keep your eyes on the road, all this snow is giving me the feeling we’re going to crash.”
Wait, I didn’t just tell my mouth to say that. Okay, let’s try this. Who are you? Who are you?
Oh no, I can’t control my body. This is not happening. Not again, I am in control of my dreams. I have been since I was eight, and I’m not giving up my control again.
My body turns to the mysterious man in the seat and rolls her eyes. “ We are not going to crash. I grew up on these roads, I learned to drive in conditions worse then this. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Chill, honey.”
Honey? Honey? This guy is my boyfriend? Or, more correctly my dream-boyfriend. This has gone on long enough. I am in control of my dreams and I’m not really in the mood to have a mush-filled dream. I prefer my shoot-em up and save the world while blowing things up dreams. They are much more entertaining.
I am taking control. I take a few deep breaths. One,two,three,breath....One, two, three....out.....in....out....
I open my eyes, and feel the soft leather of the steering wheel through my fingers. I turn my head and notice something very wrong with the picture in front of me. The attractive man who had been occupying the seat next to mine has been replaced. He’s no longer attractive, at least to my eyes. He is a child, barely over 10, and has a face shrouded in darkness, except for his eyes. His eyes are dark red.
I clench my jaw.
“ So, that was your idea of trapping me in my dreams?”
He shrugs. “ I’ve tried to kill you thousand of times. Each time I’ve had to get better, after your little realization you could control your dreams.”
Thousands of images flashed across my eyes, the first dream with him. I was eight and he’d invited me to play in wonderland. I’d excepted, used to my imaginative and crazy dreams and fell down the rabbit hole. He had slowly morphed into a fox-wolf hybrid and chased me until his jaws clenched around my throat. Then my mother had woken me up. I’d been asleep for 24 hours straight. I’d been in a nightmare for 24 hours straight. For the next year he’d tormented me in my dreams. But each time I’d slowly escape sooner and quicker. Until finally I’d learned to shape my dreams to how I wanted them to turn out. He’d gone away.
“ So I guess your back?” I said, lazily. I glanced at my surrounding. It was my home town, we were driving out on the Spit. A strip of land jutting out into a bay.
The wind howled outside. And it started to rain. Finally he answered.
“ I’ve always been here. I’ve been waiting for you to let down your guard enough for me to take control again.” And he smiled, his teeth appeared canine, and sharpened to a tip.
I pulled the car over to the side of the road. Taking out the keys I said, “ Really? And what exactly are you going to do know that I’ve got control now? I mean all I have to do is think. And suddenly your back in wonderland, where you deserve to be.”
He tilted his head to the side. “ You know, people work out their problems in their dreams. They have nightmares to warn them about things. And so forth...But you’ve developed this nasty habit to control your dreams. So much that you never escape reality. How many times have you had a dream that couldn’t be possible in the real-world?”
I laughed, and slammed my hand on the dash-board. “ That’s all you’ve got? You used to bring me nightmares, not silly lectures about dreams. “
“ Who said this was a nightmare?”
“ Are you kidding me? You tormented me when I was little. Tormented me.”
He looked at me sideways. “ I tormented you as a wolf right? And what type of dog do you own?”
What is he getting at? “ I own a husky. And yes, I know, it’s ironic.”
“Is it so ironic, or maybe a wolf is your guardian animal. Maybe I wasn’t trying to kill you but perhaps tell you not to be scared anymore.”
I was about to interrupt him, when he started again.
“ At eight you were scared of people. You suffered from an almost debilitating shyness. And you escaped reality to your wonderland dreams. Then your dreams turned scary and it pushed you to conquer your fears. It taught you to conquer your dreams. How many times have you told yourself, if I can control my dreams I can control my shyness, I can control my life. I can do anything. How many times?”
I felt the car swirling, and suddenly I was eight again in a beautiful spring meadow. I wore a pretty yellow dress and a little boy stood next to me. He smiled at me and had the prettiest, shiny, pointed teeth I’d ever seen. My eight-year old self reached out and touch his face softly.
“ Lets go play.” I said.
But, wait, I knew how this would end. I shouldn’t go play with him. He’d try to hurt me, kill me. I had to stop myself.
“No. Stop. I don’t want to.” I slammed my foot down on the ground. “ You can’t make me.”
Oh dear god, I really am eight.
In a high-pitched voice the boy-canine replied. “ Come on, I want you to meet my friends.”
I’ve got to gain control, once again.
Adi, just give up. Let this dream flow. You have control, this isn’t you at eight. This is the current Adi in an eight year olds body. And she’s about to return to wonderland. Where she can control her dreams but also let them go their own course too.
Wait, why don’t you just want to torment me like you did before? How can I trust you?
Because it’s been lonely in wonderland. We used to have so much fun together.
Tell you tried to kill me.
I’m sorry, I was showing you my dark side. I was mirroring your dark side. The dark side of humanity. I was showing you humanity can be tough,scary, frightening, something even life-threatening. But you learned to face your fears and conquer them.
Every human kills?
No, but every human has the ability. It’s just their choosing if they do or not.
I think I liked you better when you weren’t so prophetic.
You mean when I tried to kill?
At least you didn’t make me think about things bigger than the primal instinct to survive.
Until you woke up. Then you realized it was all a dream.
Dreams affect reality. I did learn that from my nightmares with you.
I promise I won’t hurt you anymore. Just come to wonderland with me again.
I rolled my eyes. Fine. I’ll go with you. I can always just send you back to wherever you came from if things get shady. We slowly walked toward the door.
You know, if I ever told anyone about this dream they’d probably think I was schizophrenic.
Who says you aren’t?
I smiled and shook my head. Then, suddenly the spun again and I was standing in a pretty brown peasant top, with creased tan shorts. I stood in front of a large wood door, with intricate carving of animals running around the rim. It was the entrance to my wonderland. I looked down and realized I was holding the hand of a boy around my age with curly blond hair and solemn brown eyes with peculiar fox ears sprouting from his head. And as I leaned back, a wolfs tail sprung from the back of his brown checkered shorts.
“So this is your real form?”
He looked at me with a curled lip. “ Adi, none of this is real. It’s all in your head.”
“ I know..”I sighed. “ Ughh, you know what I mean.”
He merely nodded and pulled me closer to the door. It swung open and he let go of my hand and stepped through the threshold.
“ Welcome to wonderland.”
I took his hand and stepped into my wonderland.
Oh, yeah, this is so borderline schizophrenic.