Greeney

September 16, 2011
I hate my job. I really, really hate my job. If I had a say in what Bathroom Supplies, Inc. would have made me, I would have told them to just make me a hand towel, or something like that. Towels don’t have to do anything but hang themselves properly and dry people’s clean body parts. I, on the other hand, had the luck to become the most ghastly being the entire Bathroom Supplies World has ever known: a toothbrush.
My name is Greeney because my handle is green. Hey, don’t look at me like that. It’s not like it was my choice to have such an attractive name to complement my delightful job. Anyways, I work at the James’s Bathroom. In a quite normal day, I usually just sit around and talk to ‘The Gang’ whose four members are exclusively toothbrushes. They are Whitey, Terry, Chucky, and yours truly. Out of us four, Chucky definitely spends the most time not doing his job because Mandy, his little boss who is sort of a brat, seldom brushes her teeth.
I have to say I am quite amazed we still haven’t split up considering the amount of time each of us spends cleaning our bosses' teeth. We all know that once we’re worn out, they throw us into the trash bin. From then on, we will enter the world of wonder and discovery! This is everyone’s only incentive in doing their jobs, and as our jobs go, we pretty much do a great job.
This, however, doesn’t mean that we enjoy doing what we do. First of all, you don’t know how terrifying it is to be picked up by humans. They grip you as if they are going to kill you. After that, they put some ok toothpaste on you then bring you up to their mouths. Normally, the odor would be that of different types of food mixed together to create the most horrendous of smells similar to that of a fish left out to rot in a basement. Then again, there are days when they just eat dessert and their mouths smell like heaven. As a toothbrush, it is my primary duty to take off these food particles and make sure my boss doesn’t have cavities. I hate my job, but I do my job well in hopes of becoming the world traveler I know I should be.
Today seemed like another ordinary day. Whitey and Terry were talking about Chicago because Terry’s boss, Ralph, just went to Chicago and was talking about it to his wife when he was in the bathroom.
“What do you think Chicago looks like, Terry?”
“I don’t really know, but I think they have a lot of theme parks over there.”
“I think they do too. Once I get there in the future, the first thing I’ll do is find a girlfriend whose name is not a color.”
The conversation practically revolved around Chicago. I was getting quite bored because I already know about Chicago because Gina, my boss, talked about how disgusting it was over there on one particular night. I was about to go to sleep when Gina suddenly appeared at the bathroom door. She took me, put some toothpaste on me, brought me to her mouth, and moved me up and down her mouth in a process called “brushing.” I was getting quite dizzy when she finally rinsed me. I was ready to return to my cup when she suddenly yelled at Terry’s boss.
“Mom, where do you want to put Greeney?”
“Just on top of the toilet, honey.”





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