September 25, 2011
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As I lay in my bed in the early hours of the day, I can see the morning sunlight filtering in my window through my bangs which are constantly hanging over my eyes. It's a Saturday, and yet my body insists upon waking up at 6:00 AM as though I had to go to school.
Saturday. My one day of peace and rest from the drama and social abuse that is school. I don't have to go anywhere, see anyone that I don't want to, or even think.
No, that's a lie. Because I do have to think. I can't seem to stop thinking, and I think that's my problem. My mind is constantly working trying to find answers to questions, making observations, and living in the past. How I wish it wouldn't do the latter. The past is gone, and one does not do well to dwell in it, or so I've heard.
I used to think friends were friends, you could find joy doing anything if you really tried, and your ending would always be happy. Now I've learned, now I KNOW the truth. "Friends" stab you in the back, people change, and sometimes you have to fall in order to realize you were wrong. That's life, and I'm still not sure how to make everything right. Life is a learning experience and I feel like a newborn chick who has fallen out of the nest: lost, confused, and broken. Maybe one day things will be okay again.


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