I Guess I Like You

September 1, 2007
By Elizabeth Jarvis, Dittmer, MO

I smiled at him. It was my well known angry pit-bull smile that scared anyone with the misfortune to look at my face. I had no intention to frighten him, but I felt the monster creep up and lift the corners of my lips.

I was surprised to see him smile back. His perfect ice blue eyes looked into my rather unremarkable brown ones. I looked away, feeling inferior and plain.

"Is something wrong?" He asked. I shook my head.

"No. I'm cool." I responded. Liar. Dirty, no good, big-fat-liar. What I should have said is 'Sorry, but I'm desperately in love with you and just realized that you're a god and I'm little more than a speck of dust. Please forgive me for breathing your air and looking in your general direction. Yeah. I'll be going now.' Instead I just stood there gaping at him like the mentally disturbed person I was. Or a fish. That one works too.

His eyebrow rose. A sign I was acting freakish.

"Okay. So, did you need to talk to me or something?" He asked. I mentally back-handed myself. I was standing in front of his locker with every intention to confess my stalker like obsession with him. Yeah, things weren't quite working out as planned.

"Reggie, you ok?" He asked. I loved the way he said my name. That wonderful deep voice hypnotized me. Involuntarily, I shook my head. Great. Now he was looking at me expectantly. I thought for a moment. What was I so afraid of? I'd look more like an idiot if I just stood there gaping at him. Then, on the other hand, he'd never talk to me again if I admitted my unhealthy infatuation with him.
'You chicken.' My voice kicked in. Yes, I had a conscience. One that took on a rather cocky personality.

'But he'll hate me.' I argued.

'No, he'll think you're mentally impaired if you stare at him any longer.' My conscience said. I snapped out of my trance. People began filing out of the school, in hope of getting a good seat on the busses. He sighed.

"Look, um, I got to get home so maybe I could give you a ride or something?" He asked, looking at his wrist watch. I almost fell over. The most perfect person I had ever met was offering ME a ride? Here I was, on the brink of ruining his day with my awkwardness, and he was the one being nice.

'Say yes!' My voice kicked in. I complied, in sheer awe of what was happening to me. We walked out to the student parking lot, full of brand new cars paid for by mommies and daddies that wanted the best for their spoiled kids. He led me to a baby blue truck that almost matched his eyes and opened the passenger door for me.

"T-thank you." I stumbled over myself. He nodded and got in on his own side.

'Well you got yourself this far. Now what?' My voice asked. I didn't respond because I was rendered temporarily brain dead. He drummed his hands on the wheel.

"So..." He trailed off, looking at the ugly grey sky ahead of us. He turned on the windshield wipers as it began to rain.

"Did you want to tell me something?"

'Yeah, REGGIE, didn't you?' Voice mocked.

" Yeah. I did." I responded. He looked at me with a question in his eyes, probably wondering if I was going to wimp out again. I ignored the churning fear in my gut and opened my mouth to speak.
" But you have to promise not to throw me out of the truck when I tell you, alright?" I asked. Whoa, where did that come from? His mouth tilted into a lopsided grin and my insides melted.

"Well, I dunno... It depends on what you're going to tell me." He said, blue eyes sparkling with amusement. I shot him a you-think-you're-so-funny- look.

"Okay, fine. I promise." He said. Cue nervousness. My heart beat rapidly and time seemed to slow down.

‘C'mon, Reg, you can do this.Õ Voice encouraged me.

"I... um." I stopped short. He said nothing, just waited for me to begin speaking again.

"I'm kinda..."


'Spit it out!' Voice exclaimed. So much for that encouragement.

"I guess I like you or something. I dunno." I said rapidly. Wait. What? Why did I have to say that? My insides churned in a panicked frenzy that made me feel incredibly dizzy.

Okay, time to slow down. So there, I said it. I confessed my love for my best friend to his face. Gah, I was so stupid! We sat in silence for a few minutes, unable to think of something to say. I wished right at that moment that he would just kick me out of the truck. Just open up the passenger door and push me out when we hit 60 mph. Instead he turned on the radio and our discussion was lost in the sound of a crap-tastic guitar solo. Better than nothing, I suppose.

We pulled into my driveway and by then it was raining hard. He stretched to reach behind him and pulled out an umbrella. Hopping out of the driverÕs side, he came to mine. I opened up the door and huddled under the umbrella with him. It was awkward but I wasnÕt complaining. I mean the guy had an umbrella and if I went it alone I‘d be pelted to death by rain. We walked to the front door and just stared at each other for a second.

IÕm sorry. I shouldÕve kept my mouth shut.Ó I said with a weak smile. He avoided my gaze and doused the little spark of hope I had left. All was lost. I turned to go inside and scream into my pillow for a few hours when he grabbed my wrist. OkayÉ major chick flick scene. ItÕs raining, weÕre on my front porch, he grabs me, then he goes in for the kiss. Oh the cheesiness of it all!

Actually, as he grabbed my wrist, I spun around to look at him and tripped. Yeah, I know. IÕm not so smooth. Anyway, I tripped over his foot and our lips crashed together. My teeth hurt just thinking about it. I pushed him away and jumped five feet back. Dude, IÕm so sorry! I didnÕt mean to do that! I swear!Ó I apologized, shaking my head as if it would erase the memory of what just happened. Then a laugh as clear as bells sounded. He was laughing. At me or with me (though I wasnÕt even laughing), I couldnÕt be sure. Reggie. Breathe.Ó He smiled. God, I was so embarrassed. He stepped up to me and I hid my face behind my shaggy bangs. Who was I trying to fool, anyway? He had always been the popular, good looking, perfect guy. Me? His tomboy sidekick. Together weÕd go out and rid the world of evil. Actually, heÕd go do that and IÕd watch from afar. Now do you see? I wasnÕt much help with anything.

My thoughts were interrupted by a hand running itself through my scraggly hair. I jumped in surprise. Looking up to see him smiling at me made a warm feeling flood my soul. However, I wasnÕt an idiot. I saw through it all. It was pretty obvious that I was nowhere near good enough for him. Look, I shouldnÕt have said that. I donÕt have any self control, therefore cannot be held accountable for my own actions. I--Ó By then his lips were on mine. And NO, he didnÕt trip over my foot, if you were wondering.

‘Now arenÕt you glad you listened to me?Õ Voice asked. I didnÕt answer but yes I was. Who wouldnÕt be? My teeth hurt, I was soaked, and I was kissing my best friend.

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