A Girl Who Had a Secret | Teen Ink

A Girl Who Had a Secret

September 1, 2007
By Anonymous

I sat on my bed all alone in my room when I found out. I was so surprised that it happened to me, I'm only seventeen, a straight AÓ student, a cheerleader and now a soon to be mom. I used to think that this would never happen to me, only people who need it to teach them a lesson. After I found out about my pregnancy I called my boyfriend, Drew. He asked me when this happened and what IÕm going to do about it. I didn't know at the time, I had just found out. (A week passed and I told my mom and she took me to a clinic, just to make sure.) The nurse told me I am two months pregnant and that if I wanted an abortion, it was possible but it had to be my decision. I had so many things going through my head, like how am I going to take care of another person when I should only be taking care of myself right now? I started to cry and looked at my mom and said, Mom, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen.Ó She looked at me as if it was okay and everything could be alright. The next day I went to school like it was a regular and normal day. I walked passed Drew because I didn't think he'd want to talk to me, but he followed me to the stairwell. He told me that he'll be there for me when the time comes to have the baby and that he wouldn't leave my side. Promise?Ó I asked him. He looked in my eyes, Promise.Ó I gave him a hug and a kiss then went to my next class. After school, he took me home and we did our homework together until my mom got home. She decided that we all should have a talk about what we are going to do. Abby, what are you going to do about the baby? You're only seventeen and you're a child. You can't take care of a baby, they need a lot of attention and love. Plus they cost a lot of money!Ó my mom yelled at me. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I know that if I do keep the baby I will need help taking care of it. I was hoping that you and Drew would help me.Ó Drew looked at me with a weird face. Of course I will help you take care of the baby, it's kinda my fault too.Ó After Drew stopped talking my mom started, You sure will help Abby take care of your baby! Did you tell your parents yet?Ó Drew looked at me and told my mom, Yes I told them and they kicked me out of the house.Ó Well, if you want, you can move in with us. You could sleep in the living room.Ó When she finished talking she got up and went outside to get the mail. She came back in and went to the kitchen to open the mail while Drew and I went to my room and talked. As we walked up the stairs I was thought, I have a living, human being growing inside of me. I'm responsible for what happens to it; I'm responsible for its future. Drew looked at me and asked me, What are you going to do with the baby? Are you going to keep it or give it up for adoption?Ó To be honest I didn't know what I was going to do. I'm not sure yet. I was going to talk to you first and see what you have to say.Ó He was looking down at his football ring, playing around with it, He looked up. I think we should give it up for adoption.Ó I looked at him, shocked to hear what he had to say. It was like he didn't even care where our baby ended up. I wanted to slap him right then and there, but I told myself that this was a lot for anyone to handle. A few minutes later, my mom came up stairs to check on us and see if we were hungry. I got up and left to go downstairs, perhaps to get away fro, him. My mom followed me down and asked him if he would stay up there while she talked to me. What's wrong, sweetie?Ó I sat down on the sofa and Mom sat right next to me, rubbing my back. Mom, he wants to give the baby up for adoption, it feels like he doesn't even care.Ó She told me that he could be scared just like me and he doesn't know what he wants to do either, and that I need to give him some time to think about it. I knew that I didn't want to be a single parent. The next day came around and I didn't talk to him at all, however, I did tell my best friend Holly that I was pregnant, she congratulated me. Two more months passed and I started to show; I felt like everyone knew that I was pregnant. My mom and I went to the mall to buy some maternity clothes; I wanted to make sure I dressed in style. I tried on different clothes. Some were too big, and some were too small, then I found this perfect outfit, a pair of shorts and a pink shirt. It looked so well on me that I felt so confident. The next day at school, Drew walked up to me and asked me if I would go with him to the guidance counselor and see if she could help us make a decision about the baby. I said, No, it has nothing to do with her. Let's leave her out of it.Ó Then I walked away from him as if he didn't exist. When I got home, I told my mom what I decided to do, Mom, I have decided to keep the baby.Ó She quickly turned around and said, Oh honey, are you sure this is what you want to do? I mean a baby is a lot of responsibility and I really don't think you're up to it.Ó I looked at her and thought, How could she say something to me like that? I made the decision to lay down with him; I think I can make the decision to have this baby.Ó I walked off and slammed the front door. Later on that night my mom told me she understood why I wanted to keep the baby and she apologized for what she had said earlier. Then she said, Maybe you could give the baby up for adoption, you're not ready for this. You could choose between an open adoption or a closed one. If you pick the open adoption you will be able to watch your baby grow but if you pick the closed adoption you can't.Ó That time came and I told Drew that I was going to keep the baby and he said, That's good because I want to help you take care of the baby, this is our problem and we shouldn't try to run away from it.Ó Six months passed and I was now nine months pregnant. I woke up every morning seeing that BIG belly of mine and started to laugh. Later on that afternoon I started to have contractions in math class, I tried to hide it but I couldn't. My teacher let me leave the room and call 911. Then I called my mom and told her I was going into labor. She hurried down to the hospital where I was going to be taken. When I got there, Drew was there with my mom crying. He tried to hold my hand, but the nurses kept pushing me to the delivery room. Once they gave me my pain medicine, I was at ease, thinking that in a little while I'd be able to see the little life I had been carrying around all this time. In no time, I had a baby boy and I named him Eric Marshall Pike. He was 5 pounds and 3 ounces. Drew came over to my bed side and asked if he could hold Eric, so I gave Eric to him, and he began to smile at him. I thought I have the best guy to be my baby's father . He looked at Eric and said, Welcome to the world, little Eric.Ó I started to cry and couldn't believe this wasn't a dream. A month passed, and Eric became harder to take care of, and I didn't see how my mom could do this with me. He would always wake up at three in the morning to be fed and to get changed. He would cry non-stop, and I would see if my mom would take him some nights but she told me he is my baby, not hers. I thought, How could I do this to myself?Ó I wasn't ready to be a mother! When I turned twenty-three, I had a six-year-old boy and a new husband, Drew. That made my name be changed to, Abby Anne Pike. When Eric turned thirteen we had another child we named her Hailey Anne Pike. After Hailey was born, I went back to school to get my college degree. Afterwards, I became a nurse at Rex Hospital, where both of my children and I were born.


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