Billy Basil marched up to the podium in front of a mass of rebellious politicians and easily convinced civilians. Who here is ready to hear the truth about our so-called ‘society?ÕÓ he yelled. The crowd roared, and people held up signs that said, No Matter what the Government does, itÕs WRONG.Ó Basil continued. Well, IÕm here to give you the truth.Ó YAY!Ó There is a force out there that is trying to control you. That force is art.Ó What did he sayÉ?Ó Yes, thatÕs right. You have seen these people before; they sell their so-called art home. You stare at the art for a while each day, and eventually you start to feel a certain emotion every time you think about it.Ó The audience was silent. Slowly, a few picket signs lowered. I say, they canÕt do that! No one has the right to make me think the way he thinks! No one has the right to make you feel the way he wants you to feel!Ó The signs were thrust back into the air, and you could hear the assembly cheering from the five bordering states. I say we must rid ourselves and the so-called ‘communityÕ of the menace named art. Burn the statues! Crush the paintings! Punt the pottery! Down with art!Ó Down with art, down with art!Ó chanted everyone except Davy Billings. But what about free speech?Ó he asked. DoesnÕt art count as free speech?Ó Someone somewhere in the audience punched him, and everyone cheered. Soon the horde was splitting into small sections, rampaging all over the town, and punching any art that they came across. Take that, first amendment to the Constitution!Ó yelled one man. ThatÕll teach you to enlighten me!Ó screamed an old lady. Quicker than anyone could have imagined possible, al the art in town was either a pile of smoldering ash, or a ripped canvas. The evil had been obliterated, and the people could rest without fear of being bossed around by snooty art. Finally, peace was restored to the town, and no one ever picked up a paintbrush again.
Down the Art
September 1, 2007