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The Icy Tomb

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I gently slid through the billowing shower curtain; stepping into the frigid, ice-cold water of the somewhat welcoming tub. My clothes attempt at keeping even a fraction of warmth were entirely futile against this arctic pool. Gripping with knuckles a silvery white, I slowly dropped myself, letting my body be enveloped in this cruel, icy tomb.
Unrelenting tremors overtook my fragile frame as I finally let my face submerge. My skin quickly turned a glistening ebony shade; I opened my eyes. Strangely, the cold suddenly felt like burning embers upon me. Yet, no matter the agony, it was entirely unfathomable how difficult it was to let go. My mind kept reeling back to you. Only you. And the guilt began to swiftly twine itself into my shattered heart because I knew you wouldn't want this. But I did. More than anything. And since it was utterly impossible for you to return to me, the only option was for me to follow you. "I love you" echoed through my mind. Your voice. I had to hear it once more.
So, in my icy tomb in which I laid, I took a breath. I felt the frigid water rush swiftly and harshly into my lungs. Every single fiber of my entire being screamed in agony for air. "Just one breath!", my mind plead repeatedly. Yet my hands remained clutching the sides of the bathtub, and soon an immeasurable darkness began to surround me. Hungry, ravenous, and surging, the darkness clutched and yanked angrily at my reality.
Yet the darkness soon began to subside until all I could see was you. All I could hear was you. All I could feel was you. No more pain, cold, nor guilt. Your face, your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your touch, your love. And I knew this was the way I longed to stay forever. Something reassured me that I would soon be with you again.





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This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

Fayrouz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 20, 2011 at 11:13 pm
good job with the terrific descriptions, but i think you overdo it at many points. as a reader, it's nice to be guided but not overwhelmed with a specific image. you have wonderful word choice and fold the plot beautifully. good job and keep writing :)
 
MaggieElaine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 21, 2011 at 1:06 am
Thanks :) For both the compliment AND help. 
 
Snake_Tounge said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 2:08 pm
Uh .... I am actually speechless!! How you can put that much emotion into a story astounds me! Please never keep writing :)
 
MaggieElaine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Thank you so much :) And I will
 
ValWiggin said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 6:20 am
very good.  I like it!  i like how it leads up to the ending, doesnt give everything away at once
 
MaggieElaine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Hehehe Thank you :)
 
MaggieElaine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 11:28 pm

Ahh! The quotes are messed up. " :(

 

 
ValWiggin replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 8:46 pm
where did u get the idea for this one?
 
MaggieElaine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 8:55 pm
Oh, I have no idea!! I just wrote during class one time :) haha 
 
ValWiggin replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 9:18 pm

oh yeah, totally know what thats like.  sketching, writing, reading, or flipping ahead gets me in trouble constantly

but seriously - u must have had some inspiration? like, maybe your teacher said something that made u just want to die? jk

but u get what im trying to say

 
MaggieElaine This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:17 pm
Hahahaha idk... maybe i was just thinking of how hard it would be to live without someone you love. Idk haha 
 
ValWiggin replied...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 5:57 pm
I havent found that person yet, but i suppose when i do ill know what that's like.  i can imagine though
 
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