The Three Little Liars and the Truth

July 15, 2011
Hi! My name is the Big Bad Wolf......well, I wasn't aways bad. I was actually a cool, easy going guy until I met the Three Little Pigs. They should've been known as the “Three Little Liars” for all the unnecessary tails they told.
See, I have my own company-- Well I had my own company-- in the middle of Porkville. I provided the finest selection of rare wood, sticks and staw for houses in the area. Now I know you're thinking: why would I, a wolf, start a company in a town filled with pigs, when I am from Wolftown? Just asking for trouble, right? Well truth be told, I couldn’t build it my own home turf because the other wolves think they can come freeload and buy items for little or nothing. So I decided to move my location where the paying customers were, which was Porkville.
Anywho, I was just about to go on my lunch break when I heard someone banging on the front door, fussing. I hurriedly ran to open the door to see what all the commotion was about. To my surprise it was those Three Little Pigs." We have been out here waiting patiently for about an hour now," they all bickered. “What kind of business are you running here, pal? You can't just have customers waiting out here in the cold." I should've known something was up because it was July, I said to myself after it was all over.
"I apologize good people, I’m on my lunch break, but can I help you all with anything?" I greeted them. “Yeah,” they replied one by one, "I'll take that pile of straw right there!”
“I want these sticks right here!”
“And some of them bricks over there!”
"This is going to be very expensive," I tried to notify them. They just looked at each other and busted out laughing. One was on the ground kicking and rolling, one was holding his stomach trying to catch his breath, and the other one was in tears.
“Dang is it that funny...I mean what’s the joke?” I said. “I wanna laugh too.
“You're the joke,” the ring leader replied. "I hope you don't think we were planning on paying for none of this.
"But I thought you all said you were customers," I said, sweating up a storm.
"True but I never said that we were paying customers, he said sternly. I tried to compromise with them but they weren't hearing that. They jumped me and took all my merchandise.
"I just got jumped by some little gangstas," I thought to myself as I shook my head. “I knew I should've stayed in Wolftown. At least they paid me a little once in a while!
I tried to tell Officer Porker what happened, but he didn’t believe me, so I took matters into my own hands. I decided that instead of using violence, I would just kindly ask for my things back. As I was walking to look for them I spotted the first Little Pig building his house out of straw. I approached him and said:
“Li’l Pig, Li’l Pig, give me my straw back!”
“Not by the hair on my chinnie-chin-chin!”
So I just walked off. Then I saw the second Little Pig who was building his house out of sticks and I said:
“Li’l Pig, Li’l Pig, give me my sticks!”
“These are my sticks now, be gone!” he said.
So again I walked off. I finally spotted the third Little Pig. I said:
“Li’l Pig, Li’l Pig, give me my bricks!”
“Not by the hair on YOUR chinnie-chin-chin,” he said. I balled my fists and turned red.
“What you gonna do,” he said. “Blow my house down?”
A devilish smile spread across my face. I thought maybe I would, just to scare them a little. But those sneaky pigs had some tricks up their sleeves. They decided to take a trip up to Wolftown, and paid the wolves who used to freeload off me to blow their houses down and put the blame on me. I was framed! By the time I found out it was too late. Everyone in Porkville had already heard about what had happened and chased me out of town. And that’s how I became known as the Big Bad Wolf.

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