suicide notes

June 30, 2011
Dearest Mother,
I’m dying, but you already all ready know that. The cancer is just becoming too much from me to handle. I can’t go through life not knowing when I am going to die, so, I am sorry to say that I am leaving this house tonight and never to return again. By the time you read this, my body will be at the bottom of the bay, so don’t bother looking for me. I am so sorry I have to this. Tell everyone I love them. Good-bye.


Its only 2:00 AM, so I will be able to follow through with my plans without someone trying to stop me. After I read over the note, I fold it and kiss it once before I head over to the door. With one hand on the door knob, I look back and sigh lightly as I look back at the place I used to be able to call home. When I open the door a gust of wind hits me in the face, as if to tell me to turn back but I don’t listen. I step out the door and start to make my way down the street of London that is now blanketed with snow. The sky is dull and sad, not a star was in sight. As I walk, the wind plays with my hair every now and then. I walk a couple blocks down until I reach the bar my family owns. I search for the key my mum keeps in one of the plants, and then I open the door. When I get inside, I spot another piece of paper and a pen. I write another note this time to my sister.

Dearest Tina,
I am writing you this note so that I can tell you good-bye. You’re the best sister a girl could ask for. I was very lucky to have you in my life. I also would like to tell you that my death is not your fault, so please, don’t go blaming yourself. I love you so much. Good-bye.

I can start to feel warm tears weld up in my eyes as I fold the paper and set it on the bar. I look up and stare blankly at my dead reflection in the mirror. I stare deep into my black eyes and see the past. My life was so perfect when I was little. My father was still alive and I didn’t have cancer. My life seemed to go downhill after my father died. I miss my dad. As my mind is off in another world, I realize I am not alone anymore. Someone else or rather something else is here with me.
“Rose,” someone just called my name.
“W-who’s there?” I ask, my voice shaky and scared.
“Turn around,” the voice breathed. I do what it says and turn slowly, slowly until I am looking at the stain glass my mum made. At first, I see nothing but empty space. Then he comes into sight… my father. Now, I know I am crazy because my father died last year. I am seeing things now. I shake my head trying to get the figure out of my head, but it doesn’t work. He is still standing there his face is sad and hurt like he wants to cry but can’t.
“Rose,” he says again, “why are you doing this?” his voice starts to get angry. I tried to answer him, but when I opened my mouth, a blood curdling scream came out and I fell to my knees.
“Get out of my head!” I yell like I am crazy. I am sobbing now. I struggle to get to my feet and then I make a run for it. I dash out of the door and head for the dock. I run and run until I reach the dock. I tear off my jacket and throw it on the ground. Then I feel around my jean pocket until I find yet more paper. I sit down by the edge and begin to write.

Dearest Oliver,
I write this note on behalf of my death. I no longer exist on earth, so get me out of your head. It’s not worth even missing me. I only made your life as bad as mine was. You can now move on with your life without having to worry about me. But just know, I love you more than anything and I always will keep you in my lifeless heart as I descend to heaven and leave you behind. I’ll miss you. Good-bye.

This time I tuck the note under my jacket and hope that when he finds my jacket, he finds the note. After the paper is safely under my jacket I stand up and prepare myself to jump. As I stand there, I hear my father’s voice again.
“Don’t jump,” he pleads. I ignore him and push myself closer to the edge. I take a minute and look out at the calm sleeping water. Then I mouth the words, “I love you,” and finally I jump. Life as I know it disappears.

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SavannaahF said...
Nov. 12, 2014 at 9:56 pm
is she still alive?????
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