The truth of life

June 19, 2011
I don’t want to die, I’m scared, I want my mommy. I can’t breathe!
“Daddy! DADDY!” I manage to scream shrilly. I want my daddy. Tears are streaming down my cheeks, and I’m scared. I want my mommy, I want my daddy. I don’t want to be alone, don’t let me be alone. Oh God help me, I’m so scared, I have hardly lived at all, please don’t let me die, please. My breathing is rapid and when I cough I cough up blood splattering on the wall. I’m so scared, I don’t want to die. Where is daddy, why won’t he come? I’m alone and cold, so cold. Blood is pooling around my mouth as I lay on the floor too weak to get up, too weak to even move at all. My legs are heavy I can barely keep my eyes open. NO! I can’t fall asleep, I can’t! I clutch a small stuffed animal unicorn tightly to my chest maybe some of magic will rub off on me and heal me. This can’t be happening, I’m so scared. Help me, I can’t reach the phone, I can’t get help! I cough again and my body spasms blood spewing going in every which way.
How much blood have I lost? There is lot on the floor and walls and my clothes. It seems like blood is everywhere, even in my throat and lungs and nose and everywhere. Even if help comes, I can’t be saved now; my body is tearing me apart like Dr. John Paul told me it would. God help me! Why won’t you come, why do I have to suffer so badly, what have I ever done to deserve this? Daddy, mommy, God, stranger, anyone HELP ME! I open my mouth to sob and blood starts gushing everywhere, where is everyone?
Everything is red, even my once white shirt and the couch. I’m sobbing and shaking and crying and bleeding out of control; and hair is matted and wet, and the blond strands are now red. I’m dying I’m scared, I’m alone, all I want is some comfort or magical miracle making me better. But there is no magic, the world is a cruel hard place that makes children die alone and scared. There are no unicorns, no happy endings because life isn’t a fairytale. No magic will heal me; no prince will kiss me and make me better. I know that know, as I die. I don’t want to, but I have to, it is inevitable. That doesn’t mean I can’t be scared or cry as I bleed from every appendage in my body. Little riding hood got eaten by the wolf and Cinderella died a nobody, there just stories deluding us from the truth of life hiding its cruel nature. Because the truth we live we die and life goes on unperturbed, we are just a speck hardly there at all. No one cares if we die, if the whole human race is wiped out even because the world will keep growing and changing and turning and growing. And that’s the scariest part about dying; because you were there and then you die and get erased from history permanently. I’m so scared, so cold, so tired. I want my mommy, why did she have to die? I need her, I need my daddy, but he’s not here either. Help me, please. I’m so scared and alone, I just want someone to hold me, so scared. . .

AFRAID

Afraid

afraid

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