Lets Not Cry and Say Goodbye.

June 9, 2011
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I don't want to miss it. So wait outside my window while I get ready. I want to take you to the shore with me. Let me put on my wedding dress and grandmother's pearls. Don't I look so beautiful you could cry? We do not need an superficial wedding to prove to them that we are in love. We do not need that to be happy. I spent almost all my money on this dress. I emptied my bank account and I took all that money, the money I have saved for college and our first house, and I poured it into the street. Those flimsy bills aren't worth a thing to me. They would melt in a spring shower and be torn by the most fragile hands. Where we are going, we won't need them.


Are you still there? I will be down in a second. I just need to say goodbye to my mother and father. They look so content sitting in their recliners, watching the news. I would invite them to the shore with us, but I don't think they'd appreciate it. They'd prefer if it came to them in their sleep. That is how they would want it. And I have to say goodbye to my baby sister who is bouncing around in her playpen. Isn't she just lovely? I will never know if her hair will stay that blond. Or if she will grow into those big blue eyes. She will never get to live. Her life hasn't even started yet. Its a shame isn't it? I bet she would have been Homecoming Queen with a face like that. She giggled at me as I kissed her little forehead. Oh, and I almost forgot about the dog. Years of being yelled at for crawling onto the couch. Go ahead, buddy. Make yourself comfortable. I have to go boy, I don't want to miss it.


Come on dear, we don't want to miss it. The town is so silent, isn't it? Everyone is settling down for the night, anticipating another day. Another day that will not come. One by one, they close each gaping window. And they lock each door. Jiggle the handle, just to make sure. That new lock will not keep the waters at bay. Oh no. And those windows will not stay shut. They will shatter onto their hardwood floors, spilling water all over their new ornamental rug. The water will not stop coming. And much like an empty cup, the pitcher will fill it to the brim with its contents. And then the house will burst. Sending them into a violent stream of other broken houses and even more broken people.


So let us walk hand in hand to the beach, we don't want to miss it. Lets leave behind those poor oblivious souls who will not be at the party. Tonight, they will kiss their loved ones goodnight for the last time. I hope they make it count. They wont get to feel the sand between their toes one last time, like us. I cant see you, but I know you are there. You don't have to tell me baby, I know you love me. And I don't need to tell you that I love you too. Please spare me, and don't tell me how much you will miss me. Please don't take me down memory lane. I've traveled that road one too many times. And right now is definitely not the time. I just want to remember this very moment. This moment of little importance.


Take my hand, sweetheart. And dance with me one more time. Lets dance to the sound of the laughter of those around us. And the sound of the crashing waves. Lets dance into the water. I love feeling the water race over my feet, as it is thrusted onto the shore and is then pulled back to sea. The waves are getting awfully high aren't they? It should be any moment now. My beautiful dress is completely soaked now. Even if I wanted to, I could not swim. I will simply sink to the bottom as if a lead weight was attached to my delicate little ankle. I think this next wave is it. The wave that will take us away. The wave which contains the water which will consequently fill our lungs. And the wave which will most likely separate us. We all die alone, you know.





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