Sitting In A Bar

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I was sitting in a bar minding my own business when this man sat next to me unexpectedly. I hoped that he would just sit there and not talk to me because I wasn’t in the mood of putting up with small talk. I was deeply thinking about what I was going to do with my life after college and I just wanted to keep to myself. He kept edging closer as if he wanted me to initiate a conversation but, like a stated before, I did not want to be bothered, so I said nothing. Finally he opened his mouth to say but a mere, “Hello,” his teeth were crooked and yellow, he was wearing a red flannel that clung to his large belly. His jeans were torn and hung bellow his waist. His shoes were old and he was in desperate need of a new pair. I said “Hello,” back and sort of turned my body away form him so that he wouldn’t say more, unfortunately that didn’t stop him.

“Would you like some company?”, he asked as if he wasn’t going to take no for an answer, or more like he didn’t even need an answer like he knew that I was going to say yes. He didn’t even let me answer, I was going to politely say that I needed to leave and that sadly I had no time for a conversation, and that if he could forgive me. “Well I ain’t got much to say, but its enough to keep one entertained ‘cause you seem like you need some company, pretty girl like you shouldn’t be sitting at a bar alone,” so I sat there quietly not interrupting him, just listening. “I’ll tell you this story that happened to me once and I just happened to be a taxi driver durrin’ this time of my life so this young lady came in to my cab, real purty girl with a baby and her gal friend. She said in a very sweet voice ‘Can you take us to Madison and 45th’, sure why not I said and so I drove ‘em there makin’ small talk, ya know how people do sometimes. Anyways, I drove ‘em there and she had a lot of stuff with her so I decided to get out and help her with it, I wanted to seem all gentle manly an’ all so I got out and I walked towards her, my foot got caught against a curb and started to fall. I wanted to grab on to something’, anything’ so I held on to the first thing I could and down came her skirt! She was in shock and I looked up and there was her bum right in front of my face. I was so embarrassed I stood right up and told her that her skirt was down. She looked at me and gave me the most horrible look you could imagine, it was terrible. I just turned ‘round and drove off.” this whole story was shocking and surprisingly it was hilarious, I thanked him for his time, I decided to leave soon but, when I got up I realized that he was sitting on my skirt and it was around my ankles exposing my power puff girl underwear and I ran off crying.





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