Modern Fairy Tales: Frances #1

May 15, 2011

Once upon a time, there was a goose by the name of Frances. She was born in a loving family and soon discovered she had magical abilities. Frances grew into a beautiful little goose, as did her powers. She found she could change a person’s life with a single, powerful thought.

So Frances went about her life, helping others when they needed it. Whenever someone looked a bit down, Frances was always the one to cheer them up. One day, Jerry (a windscaper bullfrog) went out of business, after all the windscapes he designed failed to draft in the wind. Frances gladly helped the poor bullfrog, but Jerry had a different plan in mind. He captured poor Frances and took her to the human who wanted her so very badly.

Frances was chained to a chair. It was bright yellow and was the color of a New York taxi. She surveyed the scene through half closed lids, as she had been knocked out at the time of her kidnapping. It was a beautiful palace. A large chandelier made out of a hundreds of dozens of shining crystals with geese feathers delicately placed on each crystal. There was a long carpet of a dark royal purple and as her eye followed it as it climbed upward to the staircase, she found herself looking at a woman with a grim-set mouth and leering black dots as eyes.
“Is she here Je-ray?” the woman demanded in an annoyed tone. Her voice is like crackling fire, thought Frances. Jerry suddenly scurried from a corner of the room and replied in a greasy voice:
“Yes your Royal Majesty of Our Great Land. I brought her here with such a skill that only a bullfrog-“
“Yes, yes, but WHERE IS SHE?” Her voice rose sharply and Jerry shrank back and led her to Frances. Jerry’s footsteps soon pattered away. Frances opened and closed her eyes and found herself face to face with the woman with the crooked nose.
“Are you Frances, dearie?” The woman’s honeyed tones almost fooled Frances, but she suspected she was dealing with a professional.
“Yes. Why do you care?” Frances glared right back at the woman and Ms. Crooked-Nose recoiled, but drew herself up again and said indignantly:
“When you speak to me, you must address me as “Your Dearest Servant of Gratitude” or “Her Royal Highness”, do you understand?” She paced across the floor.
“Yes, your royal highness.” Sarcasm dripped like molasses from Frances’ voice. The woman did not notice.
“And I require a service from you. You are to make me the most-“
“Powerful, beautiful yadda-yadda-yudda woman on the face of the Earth?” Frances rolled her eyes and figured that, since this unfortunately ugly woman with a large mole on her face would wish that beauty would favor her.
“NO. Now will you please shut your disgusting beak and listen to your Highness!” She snapped. Frances flinched. “I want you to make me a king. A handsome, noble, age-appropriate man. You can import him from a faraway kingdom, or conjure one out of thin air. Whatever suits you.” The Queen smiled with feeling and her cheeks colored. Frances was about ready to throw up, but then she remembered geese can only quack in a contemptuous manner.
“Alright, I’ll import your delightful KING you botox-filled, wart of a thing! You’ll get your king, but what use is a king of no love? Why is it that you humans don’t understand that love cannot be created! You disgust me.” Frances glared at the Queen.
“I’ll make him love me. It’ll work out, somehow.” The Queen’s eyes became misty and water-filled and the urge to hurl was undeniable now. Frances delicately swallowed the build-up of phlegm in her throat and drew out another long sigh.

She granted the Queen’s desire for attention and love. She told the Queen her future King/husband would arrive from the future, and she should be respectful to his different, more modern ways. The Queen brushed this aside without a worry. “You know, as long as he loves me with an atmost care and love and stuff like that, I will love until my last liver-breathed breathe.” Frances snorted at the Queen’s sorry-full attempt to be romantic. Frances exhaled noisily as she was re-chained to her new chamber as she thought about the day’s going-abouts. As she was pulled into a large bed with puke-green sheets, she thought about how she would love to find a fully innocent human one day.

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