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A Pessimistic Toad Learns About Family

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An awfully pessimistic toad once lived near a pond in a forest. His manner was such that if any other toad happened to remark how nice and sunny the day was, the toad would reply by saying how detrimental to the health sun really is and days like these gave people sunburn and skin cancer. If a fish were to tell the toad how cool and refreshing the pond water was, the toad would remind the fish he was swimming in his own toilet. Of course, all the animals remembered the time the toad rounded up all the young forest dwellers and told them Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny, were all myths perpetuated by their own dirty lying parents, which of course sent all the young ones into fits of hysterical crying, (especially the bunnies, who looked on their Easter friend as a sort of role model.)
One day, however, a bird who always looked on the bright side of life flew down next to the pessimistic toad, determined to cheer him.
“You know, toad, things are never as bad as they seem. One year ago I broke my wing and I went into a deep depression thinking I would never fly again, but now here I am, good as new!” The bird said, flexing her once broken wing.
“Piss off,” replied the toad. This greatly upset the poor bird and she flew away crying back to her family to tell them what had happened. Unfortunately for the toad, the bird’s family was not just her family but also the family, in italics; more commonly referred to as the mob.
The next day, while the toad was sulking underneath a tree, he was shot by the mob’s top hit man, who also happened to be the bird’s big brother.
Moral: Do not “piss off” the mob.



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