My Shadow And I

April 25, 2011
Sitting alone, cramped as far in the corner as I can possibly get. I turn all the lights off, clapping just once. If I ever get frightened its only a clap away and I am again, safe. The darkness is my blanket of security. It holds my deepest secrets because I know it will never tell. I like to pretend everyone else is sheltered by insanity, when I'm the only normal one. I used to cry myself to sleep when my mother and father would leave a night light in my room, they never understood, not every child is afraid of the dark.



She follows me everywhere I go, her foot steps imitate the calmness of the horizon. I never thought something so peaceful could be so terrifying. Her slender hands and narrowing neck, it's like skin on a stick, I cringe at the thought of it, so I tuck my self in and turn my bed side lamp off, as I dream of a better tomorrow.

A storm has hit, rain is hitting the roof one hundred drops a minute and the wind has allowed my curtains to go up in flight. I roll over realizing I need to close the window, but ponder a second longer because I'm afraid she might come out. I'm frightened that maybe one of these times she'll hurt me because I never took a chance to question myself. Slipping slowly out of bed, I tip toe to the opening, grasping the handle I tug, and as a result I slam the window closed. I jump in panic, afraid to turn around. I can feel her steps appearing behind, the vibration is trailing through my shins. No one else can hear nor see, however my eyes see all.

One foot in front of the other I swiftly walk to the bus, hands shaking and heart palpitating. She's following me again, I don't understand her. She's always the same as me, its weird how she knows how I wear my hair every day. She's such a copy cat. I can barely stand it, my insides are screaming at me, I can't handle this. They're everywhere I go and I can never hide from them. I run up the stairs and find the closest free seat on the bus, its three rows from the front. I thump my backpack down and glide onto the seat, acting far from normal. Getting glares from my peers I allow my eyes to meet theirs and wonder if they know what is following them too.

I brace myself clutching the handle on my backpack, running frayed thread in between my thumb and index finger. Nearing the door, one last breath and I enter reality again. Rushing through the school yard I trip on my shoe lace. Thrusting forward I land on my stomach, awkwardly looking up to see how many people are laughing this time. I casually stand up, we meet face to face. My heart drops and I keep running through the doors. Getting to class as fast as I can.

She's always behind me, her grey figure mimicking mine. Constantly frustrated, I wish she would vanish. The world laughs at me, mother and father will never understand, and the only way to deal with this is individually. I remember wishing as a child that it would always be dark and everyone would have night vision. That way she could never follow me. However, now that I'm older, sitting silently in the corner doesn't always work. Sometimes she still finds me.

Standing in front of my mirror, I gaze upon myself wearing nothing but a tank top and shorts. I let my mind wander off and watch as my eyes glaze over. I know she's behind me and it's time to put this all to sleep. Scissors in hand the first cut is made, I watch the drops of blood fall so gracefully to their death bed. It's to slow so I take a knife in hand, stabbing it through my flesh. My eyes grew wide as my mother walked through the door. Falling backward, and losing blood rapidly my mother leans over me crying and says, “I thought you finally realized it was only just your shadow...” I then closed my eyes and slipped silently into peace.





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

koolio said...
May 4, 2011 at 7:35 pm
I loved it you have a great potential of being a writer. I wish i could write as well as you have written this story.
 
ann.h123 replied...
May 4, 2011 at 9:24 pm
thanks :) im sure you're just as good, i would love to read some of your work
 
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