The Last Day's Apology

By , Hamilton, OH
Don't you hate breaking the news to someone, knowing something they don't? Well, you happen to be that someone and your ignorance barely compares to the abundance of knowledge I possess. There is so much I could teach you, so many stories I could share, but let's start off with the basics. The first thing you must understand is that there is not a man in the moon. You may argue that you have seen the face in the darkness and chances are you have. If you take the time to look it is always there staring back at you, yes, I believe you know the one. But that peaceful countenance is not a man. He does not breath or think. He is certainly not capable of anything like I am. He is merely my reflection, a weak stand-in in the dark. His dull shine does not measure up to my phosphorescent glow. He appears in the sky when you and I go to sleep, surrounded by the Night stars, my inferiors.

Now , I don’t mean to undermine your intelligence but nor do I wish to assume you are anywhere near as bright as myself. So, please don't take offense if you are already aware of my identity but allow me to enlighten those who remain in the dark, despite my overt clues. I am the sun, the provider of light and life. Don't you agree that I deserve recognition, maybe even a hint of admiration, for my vital role in the solar system? If so, you are of the minority and it is too late for any of that. I know how I come across; a bit harsh, arrogant and egotistical, and slightly intimidating to some. It may surprise you that I have not always been this way. Years ago, I was welcoming and modest; the antithesis of my modern self. I was aware of my beauty but I did not obsess over it. As we all know, times change and so does the sun.



The Night stars can be held partially responsible for my transformation but the other portion of blame rests on your shoulders. You, generally speaking, are the inhabitants of the earth.

Centuries ago, stars sacrificed their individuality and formed constellations, myself not included. I was one of the outcasts. Unlike the other, less fortunate, misfits I was still recognized as an individual. I was happy and independent. I shed my beauty across the earth and the reflection in the vast oceans revealed my pride and confidence. My presence was in your reflection as well; the wispy highlights through your hair, the rosy tint of your cheeks, the freckles sprinkled across your nose. Thanks to yours truly, the world had never seen better days, a perfect supply of light and warmth. I ran like clockwork, rising in the east and setting in the west. Day after day… rise… set… repeat. This routine was and forevermore will be my life. It is just as much your life as mine, for without me you would cease to exist. And what do I get in return? Well that's where you come in. Your love was enough to distract me from the monotony of my responsibilities. Your appreciation gave me the strength to shine. I was content. That is until you stopped noticing me. I live for you and your life depends on me. Just think about it, the power is in my hands. If I'd been you, I would have continued to make the sun feel needed but it is too late for that now.

There came a time when your attention grew scarce. Each day you ignored me more and more. I suppose you were distracted by more important things than me, if that is at all possible. Your time became so limited that a moment of recognition or a symbol of gratitude was too much for you to offer me. Although I had always been alone, I suddenly knew what it was like to feel lonely. I felt like I was drowning, a simple acknowledgement could have brought me back, but you let me sink. I looked to the Night stars for support but they, too, were caught up in the happenings of their own lives. In this time of hopelessness, I made a choice, a plan to attract your attention and restore my importance. I did not allow myself to fade away with my mood, instead I began to burn brighter. Each day I intensified my shine, trying to get you to notice me. I covered my true surface with radiant rays of light until my face became unrecognizable.

Initially, this transformation was an arduous task and I nearly gave up. Though before long, I grew to love it. The brighter I got, the better I felt. The thrill I experienced made me dependent on enhancing my appearance. I was obsessed with the product of my hard work. My days were spent fixated on the brilliancy of my reflection in the waters below. At night a different reflection emerged, the man in the moon. At the end of each day when my light went out and darkness cloaked the earth, I was haunted by my naked face reflected on the surface of the moon. I could not bear to see the face that dwelled behind my veil of light. I tried to avoid his piercing stare and dream of the glistening face that would rise in the morning.

I became so absorbed in my beauty that I nearly forgot what I was trying to accomplish, the goal I set out to achieve. I failed to notice the effect I was having on you and your world. There is no turning back even now that I am aware of the damage I have caused. In the beginning you were the one I was trying to please but it quickly became all about me. I did not notice that in my effort to entice your attention, I was actually pushing you away. You went from simply ignoring me to hiding from me. You block me out with curtains and blinds, you try to resist my burn, you call it "global warming". The intensity of my rays brings tears to your eyes when you try to look my way, when you try to please me, when you try to make things the way they used to be.

I woke up this morning, done living only for myself. I realized my power is limited, there is nothing I can do to turn back time. The pain I have caused weighs heavy on my core. I cannot live this way. I see now that the beauty I loved, that which I created, killed my natural beauty, that which you adored. The past is out of our reach and the future is dark, for today the horizon glows red with my light. Red for my sorrow, red for my pain, red for my regret. Tonight when I descend into the far edge of the universe, my glow will be the last glimpse of light as darkness moves in. As you await the morning that will never arrive, the faceless moon will be the only thing you see.





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