Fans of Duff Can’t Get Enough

December 13, 2007
It is no surprise that Americans around the world admire Hilary Ann Duff. This size 00 singer and actress has done nothing but help improve the lives of people across the nation. From her fat-free body to her platinum blonde hair, Hilary is the epitome of perfection. Although she has struggled with eating disorders, a recent study funded by Jessica Cohen, Elizabeth Fiedler and several other celebrity organizations confirms that Hilary’s battles have helped those who look up to her lose weight.
Brooke Conway, Cormack Hall High School senior, states, “When I first heard about Hilary’s eating disorder, I was devastated. I decided that she shouldn’t battle this alone, so I stopped eating as well. Unexpectedly, the results were remarkable and now I look up to her more than ever.”
While some may consider them over affectionate, Hilary’s devotees are no different than your average admirer. I had the pleasure of interviewing Adam and Cecile Markel, siblings from the small-town suburb of Listeria, with much devotion to the star.
Adam states, “Dude, even though I’m a guy and all, I can’t help being into Hilary. Its not even about her bangin’ body anymore, it’s her lyrics that inspire me. Some of my guy friends think she’s whack but I know they’re just Hilary haters.” Cecile added that she too couldn’t imagine why others didn’t share this devotion. “My life was meaningless before discovering Hilary. All I really cared about was school, grades, and family. I just don’t understand people who don’t see the utter perfection in this celebrity.” Fans around the globe are realizing that the time has come to take action against so called “Hilary Haters”.

In order to feel the effects of being a true Duff fan, I recently attended a concert sanctioned by the Breast Cancer Awareness organization, where an entire .0034% of the money earned goes directly to breast cancer awareness. This incredible concert lasted until Hilary was too out of breath to lip-sync. However, the 24 minutes of watching her onstage was moving; especially towards the end of the concert when Hilary decided to say a few words to her fans. “…After being in this business for 12 years it’s really helped me realize that nothing is more important than physical appearance. So for all of you fans out there, I invented something that will hopefully change your life forever; a Hilary Duff themed calendar that sings excerpts from my very own songs as a reward if you consume less than 150 calories a day. And if you guys have any question, just visit my website, its only $49.99 a month to be a member.”
Unlike many celebrities Hilary doesn’t spend all of her money on herself. On the contrary, she selflessly spends the thousands of dollars from this invention on her chiwawa’s clothes and accessories instead.
Hilary is an inspiration to people everywhere. Young men lust after her, while women wish to be her. Through her lyrics, this pop diva teaches her fans the importance of physical appearance, weight, and reputation. Hilary Duff’s contributions are widespread. From a barely there waistline, to sugar-coated pop lyrics, it is no question why people around the nation love and admire this superstar.

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