March 30, 2011
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Wet cheeks and red eyes, I fall into your arms. Your broad shoulders, soft hair, soothing voice, and the hot energy radiating off every inch of you.

All my life, I told myself I would do it all. I would travel the world, eat exotic foods, have the dream job, nice kids, a perfect husband, the perfect life. But now your in the picture, and I love you. I can't be with you, but how could I live without you?

You say, “It'll be okay.” and for a moment I believe you. I dig my face into your chest and sob. It will be okay, meaning it's not okay now, but maybe it might get better. Which makes me feel worse.

All my life I imagined myself later in life with a good job, a couple kids, a perfect husband, big house, etc. I lift my head and stare into your big, dreamy eyes and realize, no family is perfect. I have no mom, my friend has no dad, your brother is autistic, my cousin's house is “haunted”, and I think, what speed bump will my family have? If we get married one day, will our son loose his legs, will our daughter get breast cancer, would our kids do drugs or skip school? Would our kids loose their mom or dad, or both? Or would I die in labor? That happened to another friends of mine. What will happen when I get older? Something has to happen... But there's no such thing as normal.

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