Gluttony and Temperance

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There once was a cat that was very fat. His name was Gluttony. He had a brother who was slender and strong named Temperance. Gluttony was akin to bossing around Temperance. Good-natured as Temperance was, he accepted his duty towards Gluttony despite being unappreciated. As Gluttony lounged around all day on the sofa, Temperance fetched him meal after meal. Each day Gluttony became fatter from eating cupcake after cupcake, cookie after cookie, and gulping soda after soda. Unlike his brother, Temperance was a strong cat due to running around doing Gluttony’s bidding. Unlike his brother, Temperance enjoyed eating a mouse or two a day, as a respectable cat should. Attempting to turn his brother around, Temperance would slip some mice Gluttony’s way. Unfortunately, Gluttony resisted.
“That food is disgusting!” Gluttony would say, flicking his paw as if to shoo away a fly. “Get it out of my face.”
Temperance would go back in the kitchen only to hear Gluttony screaming for some vanilla ice cream topped with chocolate syrup, sprinkles, and a wild cherry. Sometimes, Gluttony would finish a bowl and ask for a second, third, fourth, and often even a fifth, stopping only to sleep. One can only wonder how he ever relieved himself.

One day, Temperance brought two bowls laden with all of Gluttony’s favorite foods from the kitchen: ice cream, fried muffins, cookie crumbs, brownies, whipped cream, cherry pie, and powdered sugar. Gluttony was grinning from ear to ear, fangs glistening with anticipation.
“Yummy!” He purred heavily as Temperance placed the first bowl down in front of him, and he gulped the whole meal down in less than twenty seconds. Temperance heard a loud cr-r-r-reeeak, but Gluttony didn’t seem to notice as he started wolfing down his second helping. When he was done, he licked the bowls clean and started licking his paws.

CRAAAAAAASH.

Down through the floor went the sofa, followed by Gluttony, and Temperance as he slipped off the wooden floorboards. Gluttony had gotten so heavy, that his weight had weakened the wood and made them fall down to the basement. Temperance was able to jump right out, since he was so fit and light. Gluttony, fat as he was, got stuck. The water pipes had burst and the basement was beginning to flood.
“Grab my paw!” Temperance beckoned Gluttony, but Gluttony could not stretch that far.
“Help me, brother!” Gluttony cried. Temperance jumped back down and tried to push his brother up and out, but Gluttony was simply too heavy. Temperance tried to call for help, but no one could get there fast enough. Sadly, Gluttony drowned.
Temperance was shook with grief and mourned his brother’s untimely, but not unexpected, death. Curiously, when they went to retrieve Gluttony’s body, all they could find were piles of sugar. He had become what killed him; pure sweetness.





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