From unknown eyes they watch the sky as two stars high above dash across the sky. A trail like glitter marking their path. Yet these unknown eyes have only received a glimpse of the star.
“What in the world do you think you are doing?” I stop abruptly and Misty fallows we stand tall as a soldier and stare at my mother quietly.
“We were just having fun it seems that we never have fun.”
“Misty,” my mother says gently “You might want to go back home.”
“Ok, bye Luz.” she looks back at me as she walks away her eyes sad and her lips with a frown. Just looking in to her deep green eyes you know she’s telling you she’s sorry. As she turns her long silky blonde hair swishes back and forth as she walks away. I turn back and face my mother.
“Gah what’s wrong with you, we were just having a little fun all any of us do I make ourselves pretty and talk about how to be a star. What if I don’t want to be a stupid star? It’s because I want to go down there.” I point down to earth “I don’t want to where this stupid dress any more you can’t move in it, can’t run. I want to feel the breeze on my face.”
“You will never go down there, I won’t let you. you’re not meant to run that is a man’s job they are the shooting star’s.”
“You are such a sexist. What about the other stars on earth they are great if not greater than any one up here. What’s the point of living life up here? If all we have to do is act like a doll always listing always being proper. Were shallow, nothing but Barbie’s. I will go to earth and you can’t stop me. I’m not coming home in less you come down and drag me back. But I will fight and you know I will. Only I know that you are the worst of all looking down at people that aren’t you’re equal.” Then the wind in my face my legs carrying me forward I was gone I was leaving and never coming back.
“Crash”
“Ow.” I groan as my head is slammed in to the wall at least something soft caught my fall I slowly make my way to stand I fix my hair brushing back the dark black strands out of my face. I walk towards a light off to my right I have no idea what to do but know I have to find Roza Adams. She was one of my best friends as a child like an older sister to me when she had left to come to earth I had been devastated. I was again alone with no one but my mother and my mentors. They were always fixing my makeup redoing my hair I was tired of it all just like Roza had been. I’m just hoping I have made it to the right area of where she had gone. I soon find a phone book and began to look for Roza I soon found her address. As I left the little booth where the phone book was but out of nowhere he was there the black mask covering his face all I could see were his dark menacing eyes. Slowly he began to approach me the only thing I could think to do was kick so closing my eyes I kicked nowhere in particular. My eyes opened slowly he lay curled on the ground groaning I took that as my cue to go. I took off running towards a brightly lit city, cool against my face blowing my hair away from my face. Again a feeling of freedom fallowed me. For once in my life I truly felt free of worries no more mom to stop me, no more being dressed as a Barbie, I was done with all of that, that part of me had died long ago. The lights blinded me were not in the sky any more I think. People fill the streets body against body, with no space to move.
“Um excuse me, excuse me.” There is no answer all of these people seem to be headed somewhere but where I don’t know I pear in to the store windows some open others closed. I wander in to one with an open sign they seem to be selling cloths of some sort. I walked in looking for someoneto help me.
“May I help you?” a cheery voice asks I turn to face this voice.
“Um yes I’m looking for my friend I know she lives somewhere here but I’ve never been to her house this is my first time.”
“O here let me see” she reaches out for the little torn yellow paper I’m holding. She stares at it for a long moment. “You’re going to want to go north that way in till you hit 3rd and Broadway about two blocks then they should be on left. I believe that’s where you’ll find your friend.”
“Thanks” her smile and kindness makes me feel better.
I reach the apartments in about twenty minutes. The sounds of the noisy street and all of their glowing signs and the smell of the car egzosts don’t leave me in till I reach the apartments, then only a single light shows me the apartments. I look down at the worn paper looking for the apartments number it reads 204. My stomach is churning and twisted in knots. Am I in the right place is it going to be her will she recognize me. I bit down hard, my lip began to bleed the sweet taste of blood fills my mouth, as I knock on the door. I hold my breath as I wait I hear the lock slide out of place and the door open. Roza stand’s there her light blue eyes growing bigger as she stares at me.
“L-Luz is that you?”
“Yes, in the flesh.”
“Well come on in girl you have grown so big, how old are you now?”
“I’m almost twenty now, I was wondering if you would be willing to help me find a place to stay while I find work?”
“How, no I know how but what about your mother?”
“She’s not happy.” We sat and had tea catching talking about old times. She had told me she would let me use one of the apartments but that once I had a job and some money she would expect me to begin paying her back she walked me through the halls of the complex to my new apartment. It was a small cozy apartment with a small kitchen and living area and then a single small bed room, it was bland but it would do.
Blinding me the bright rays caused my vision to darken covering my eyes I stumbled my way to the window closing the blinds.
It is 10:00pm and I am headed to my job working at the local dance bar as a waitress. I’ve never been fond of skimpy out fits but I need the money. I had already paid off Roza and gotten clothes. But I still hadn’t figured what would fill the empty void in side of me. I knew living my life as a Barbie could never have helped me fill the void in side of me. I could only think of one thing that might fill that void but how to get it is difficult I don’t know what could make me feel accepted.
The night had ended early for me I returned home around 4:00am tomorrow I was going to search once again for acceptance or something else that might fill that void inside of me. My day began a little before noon I have been on earth now for almost three months and had not come close.
Another day has gone by. The sky is turning in to a canvas of color and still I have found nothing. Tonight was my day off and once again I was going to stare upon the stars and ask for their guidance. I may have been an outcast in that world but I still missed my friends and believed they might give me guidance. I walk right past the door of my room and straight for the stairs that lead to the roof. I lay on my back and stair up at the sky. I love looking up at the sky at the twinkling stars, I may curse them at times yet I miss my mother no matter how much she made my blood boil. Now that I’m in a human form, they seem to intrigue me they pull me in. This is what tells me and constantly reminds me that I am a part of them. I can hear there whispers,
“Come back.” they say.
“We miss you.” I see them as I dream some time it’s a nightmare while other times they are a relief. They chastise me they don’t believe I will fill the void in side me. I try to block out there thoughts I will find what it is that completes me. Every night just as the flaming yellows and oranges of the sky fade I sit at the top of the building and stair upon the stars I listen to their little whispers, I feel we talk in our own way I feel as I say good bye and leave that a part of me stays up there. I may have cursed everything about it but it had once been my home. Laying here on my back staring up is so much different the looking down I had never actually known how much we sparkle up in the dark night sky. I bring my hand to my face and there is the outline of my tattoo the dark star on my pale palm marked with scars. I hate it for what it means I have tried to get rid of it yet it still marks me. Yet it brings me a little comfort as I walk on this earth with hardly a friend. It’s a piece of me you would think it would make me feel not so alone yet it only makes that pit in my stomach grow larger and the hole I feel inside me grow bigger.
My hope is lost I have searched everywhere and still I feel empty inside. I feel the salty liquid drops begin to fall down my cheek I run up to the only place I feel accepted and yet the tattoo remains. I run to the edge.
“Why?” I scream
“Why have you done this to me?” The cars drown out my screams as I collapse to the ground the liquid now flowing freely as a river over my cheeks. I wipe them away to remove the trace that they have fallen. Getting up staring out across the brightly lit landscape I am lost in my own head. I am strong I will fight in till I have accomplished what I have come here to earn.
“bang.” the sound of the heave metal door leading to the roof removes me from my reserve.
“Who are you why are you up here?” my sharp tone seeming to catch my intruder off guard.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I just came to enjoy the view.” he slowly approaches to the ledge and stand near my side. I could now make out his features dark shaggy brown hair, honey brown eyes and a smile that could make any one feel as if they were special in some way. I look back out at the view of the city. I could then feel his eye on me. They made me want to squirm. I begin to leave towards the door when he catches my arm.
“Wait please stay, I would like some company.” those few words changed something inside of me changed in that instant and I couldn’t seem to pull away I walked back towards him and stood by him we didn’t share any more words after that yet none had to be said. So many feeling bubbled inside me what are these feelings why, why do I feel this way my heart high in my throat blood flowing at a quickening pace through my body. There’s something wrong something that I have cared with me for nearly twenty years it had been assumed it would never leave and yet here I was stumbling around my apartment trying not to slowly sinking to the ground finally my legs giving way to my body. I am slumped against the doors frame of my bed room my body trembling. Slowly I bring my shaky hand to my face. Where there was once pain, hatred, and comfort it had disappeared. All that was left was a sense of completeness. closing my hand in to a fist my nails digging in to the flesh then opening it once again making sure this was not a dream, yet then there in my palm lie a small silver star on a simple black ribbon.
Luz was my world now. We have been together now for only a year and still to this day she can surprise me. We are walking down the street looking at all of the sights that surround us. Venders sell food while others sell jewelry or other trinkets. Luz releases me hand and beings spinning around down the street she has changed so much since we had meet. When we star upon the stars together there is something about them that seems to make her glow brighter.
She drags me around from booth, to booth we try different thing a little jam from here a little bread from there. The smells of fresh flowers, cooked bread, and funnel cakes, fill the air. She stops here and there just taking in everything that she can. We talk a little but with us it doesn’t matter we are who we are and with us just looking at one another there are unspoken things that only we will know.
We being making our way to a hill just on the edge of town it is dimly lit from the festivities in the street but the smells fallows us up. Her grip on my hand loosens, Then she goes to lie on the ground and begins staring up at the stars.
“Lovely aren’t they.” I can hardly hear her quit voice. I lay besides her taking her hand in mine.
“Yes, I just never took enough time to see them I guess.”
“You did you just didn’t know it, for you are the unknown eyes.” I turned her words around in my head, but was soon lost in the sky with her. I never did learn what her words meant.