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How It Shouldnt Be Done (play in one act)
[The setting is just a dark stage, with a gigantic thought bubble extending from where the main character will be. (stage left) There are no necessary props at this point in the play. The main character, Aaron will be entering stage left and will sluggishly and anxiously saunter onto the stage.]
Aaron: [While pacing back and forth, in a paranoid tone he begins his lines]
Ugh… I love my mother… But I don’t know if I can do this. It’s probably the thing that I would like to do the least out of everything I could possibly think of doing right now… at this moment… in time…
[Speaking to the audience]
You see, my mother is really sick. Today she had me brought into her hospital room and she told me what she wanted me to do before she dies… [trailing off and then returning back to pacing the stage]
Dang! This really just made my day. (In an overly sarcastic tone)
Why did she ask this of me!? Especially when she knows how I feel about Eloise. [looking back to the audience]
She says to me, “Aaron before I die my last wish is that you ask your old friend Carly to marry you. She is such a sweet girl…”
What?? Carly isn’t my friend. She beat me up in the 7th grade. 4 times! Oh man. What am I gona do?
[Aaron sinks to the floor. He is quiet for a few seconds. Then suddenly he jumps up with a smile on his face.]
I’ve got it! I will keep my mom happy by happy by asking Carly to marry me, but she doesn’t have to know that I am going to come up with the worst possible proposal idea I can think of.
Legally of course…
[A short pause and the Aaron starts to pace again]
But how?? How would I ask her…
Hmmmmmm… I could sing a song?
[In background the imaginary Aaron comes on stage into the thought bubble and begins to slightly mouth/belt the words to a song]
No. Not cheesy enough. Maybe if I throw in a piano and then sing the song…
[In the background a piano slides on stage next to Imaginary Aaron. Right as he is sitting down to play Aaron has an idea.]
Maybe a lame way to propose would be better. I could… possibly… Facebook her?
[When he says this a laptop slides onto the stage and Imaginary Aaron picks it up and starts to type]
[Imaginary Aaron knocks the laptop to the ground frustrated at the further interruption and then glares at Aaron(who is unaware of the though bubble and his imaginary self inside).]
hahaha I have it! The most unflattering way I can think of would be a meaningless text message.
[Imaginary Aaron sits down and begins to watch (with a cocky and arrogant look on his face) Aaron pull out his phone. Aaron starts to text. While he texts he speaks out loud what he is texting]
Hey will you marry me?
[Dramatically he pushes send]
Sent! Yes, the deed is done. In a few moments I will have proof that I asked Carly to marry me and my mother will accept that I want to marry Eloise.
[Phone beeps and Aaron opens his phone up.]
No! Are you serious?? Come on! How could she say yes!?
[Imaginary Aaron begins to point, laugh and fall on the ground.]
Crap… Now I have to come up with a way not marry her.
[Aaron falls to his knees and then lays on the ground.]