Ugh. These clothes disgust me. How did I end up here? Everyone here smells like B.O. and various kinds of spilled foods. I’m clean! Don’t the humans have nostrils? Or eyes to see that I don’t belong in the hamper yet? Eww, Billy’s underwear. Gross, Sue’s tennis uniform. I, the lone clean sock in this mess of disgusting, filthy, bad-smelling container of clothing, will rise against this insanity! I shall submit myself to the washing machine gods and have myself eaten. That will teach those humans not to put a clean sock in the dirty pile. They will go mad looking for me. I only wish I could say good-bye to my lovely mate Matilda. Oh well, what must be done must be done. Good-bye cruel world!