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Sally's Monsters

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Sally's Monsters were scary. They followed her everywhere. They put her down, made her hide, made her scared, and made her cry. No matter what Sally did she couldnt get rid of her monsters. As she grew us, they grew bigger. Sally was getting afraid thatd they take over her life. Sally's monsters found their way into her relationships causing them to move apart and fall apart. She didnt know how to rid herself of them. Sally wouldnt leave her house anymore. She wouldnt talk to her friends, or her family anymore. She grew apart from everyone. Sally's monsters were still with her in the house but she was ok as long as they didnt mess with anyone else she loved. Sally grew old alone. One day, she was tired of being alone. She opened her door and saw the change. The monsters followed her as she walked down the street into an old friends of hers. Her friend was old now. Barely even walking. Her friend said the wisest thing to Sally that day. "Sally, you wasted you life on monsters and demons. Now its time to meet your cure." Sally friends saved her that day. She helped her rid her from her monsters and demons. Sally lived the rest of her life in freedom. Thanks to a big friend that helped her find a bigger god.

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VirginiaCalling said...
Feb. 2, 2011 at 10:49 pm
This is definitely a good start. I think you should describe the 'monsters' like: The big fat green one always hovered over her... Or they were grotesque and deformed and wouldn't leave her be, threatening to... or something like that. Also, maybe describe how she knew the old friend and perhaps describe what he used to look like. I think if you added a little more to this story it would be even better! Nice work!
AmandaPanda123 said...
Feb. 1, 2011 at 7:01 am
I think that this is a good piece :) You just had a few grammar errors, and maybe you could have added more to the story. But like this, I still enjoyed reading it. :)
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