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In the End
I always pictured death to be more, I don’t know, more glamorous. What with the whole see your life flash before your eyes type of thing. But that was not how it was with me. When I died I didn’t meet up with past relatives, or see the grates hits of my life. All that greeted me at the “pearly gates” was a feeling that my so called life was complete crap that it should not have ended, at least not that way.
Walking into work was always the same. Meeting Sam at the entrance, he’s been working there the longest and he’s not afraid to remind everyone that comes in ear shot of this fun fact.
“You know how long I have worked in this hell hole?” He would ask when I would walk over to say hi. I know that most of every one that works at McLennan’s (the small town’s only hardware store) and some of the regulars find him to be a pain in there behind. But he is the closest I have to grandparent s, so I listen when he goes on a rampage of how the government needs to give him more money so he can retire, or how long he hasn’t see his kids; but most of all I hear him complain about the new management and how they need to hear him out more.
“I think…Too long?” I respond giving him a smile.
“That’s right. How would you know I was going to say that Emma?” He questioned, with equally as big of a smile, bringing a sparkle to his eyes that remind me of Santa.
“Just a lucky guess.” With that as my goodbye I left to go to my spot at the checkout. If I knew I was never going to see him again. I would have told him how I felt about him.
After standing for the last 6 hours all I wanted, and needed was to go home and climb into bed and fall asleep. Walking out side in the cold winter nights air to were my dad was suppose to pick me up, the way he does when he’s sober enough or my sister when she remembered to , all I thought of was my bed. After standing outside for 45 minutes, I got fed up and called him.
“Hello?” was the response on the other side. But I was barely able to make it out, from it being slurred so bad. He picked up drinking when my mom died last year. Some days he barley took a sip, that was always rear. Most of the time thou from 6-6 he was drinking. Not being able to find his way out of the house. He’s mostly the reason I got a job. I just could not think of letting him drive across the town when he can’t even stand more for 1 moment without wobbling; also once the water got shot off once I was already set at making it better somehow.
“Hey is anyone there?” he asked on the other end.
“Just calling to tell you I’m walking home… Elisa didn’t come again.” I responded only half hearted, not really caring to hear his response.
“Oh… Okay…” I don’t even think he got the meaning of what he was saying. “Emma?”
“Be careful” he slurred again. I didn’t say anything to this just hanging up. He hasn’t cared for me in such a long time. They were empty words coming out of his mouth. If he cared for me he would of but the bottles down when I asked him to. Not going out to grab another one from the garage.
The roads were so slick, I could not think of anyone that would be that stupid to go out to night. The weather mans been warning us all of a cold front that would freeze the rain that’s been coming down for the past week.
“The one time the weather mans right, I have to walk home.” I grumble into the night’s air. What can I say I am 16 years old, I’ve been known to get an attitude every once and a while. That’s when I got blinded by to bright of a light to seem real.
Just standing on the walk way like I am suppose to be, a high screech is what got me to look. Seeing bright lights coming strait to me, blinding me so bad I couldn’t think of anything to do. My body and mind weren’t attached any more. I just stood there; seeing my fait coming straight at me. By the time I could tell it was car it was too late. The vehicle hit me with such force it took all the air out of my lungs. By then I was suck pain I didn’t think there was any way I could still be breathing. I was now pinned between the car and an oak tree growing by the walk way.
Looking up to meet the driver’s eyes, I knew them. I could point them out from a line up a hundred deep. Even before this.
The burring that was happening on my stomach was so pain full it became almost num. Instead of coming out to help or check on me he, just lock eyes with me and put the car in reverse. Pull back and driving back to the street as I collapse on the pavement, my blood pooling all around me, I let my sprit take me to where I am suppose to go. My last thought is how ironic that He was the one to hit me, the one to leave me there dying by myself, leaving me another night like he did before.
That’s how my life ended. Slowly, but yet at the same time not, in my mind it took eternity but most likely only took one minute. Being weightless, I got lifted up, I could only think of how He was always the main point of pain in my life. He was the first guy I told “I love you” to, the first guy I gave everything to. And he was the first to leave, the first to lie to my face of how he “loved” me, and in the end the first and last to kill me.
When I stopped floating of being cared up, all that surrounded me was green. Green trees, green grass, and in the very center was a pale green gate.
“Pearly gate?” I said to no one. “Huh…” I never have seen an emptier field: no bugs not even a bird chirping off in the distance, a weird light that I could not place, it seem too come from no direct spot but being all around. No one but total silence, me in a green field with a pale gate off in the distance, I did the only thing I could think of when you’re in a strange place with no answers. I started to yell.
“Hey isn’t there suppose to be someone here!” I yelled into the emptiness. “Hello! HELLOOO!” now I am getting pissed off. “There is SUPPOSE to be someone here. An Angle, God someone!”
“Maybe if you calm down. Someone will come.” I hear a voice off coming from behind me. The Voice seems familiar but at the same time I know I never heard it before in my life. Turning around to see the cause for my confusion I am meet with theses eyes that are to vivid of a shade of purple. The owner of these eyes was a very handsome man about the age of twenty one. With dark brown almost black hair against a pale skin tone. It would have been very striking any were but even more so because he was were all white and surrounded by green.
“Are you an… an Angle?” I ask in a shy tone. Almost shocking me for I have never been so shy around a guy before.
“Oh no. that’s too nice of a word to call me Emma.” The strange man told me.
“How do you know my name?”
“I apologize. My name is Dean. I’m your guardian.” The man that now has a name said to me, with an easy smile.
“My guardian?” I say in a questioned tone. Dean just stayed there staring at me. “If I had a guardian then why did I die? Why did all those bad things happen to me?” I ask in rather a harsh voice.
“It was destiny” Dean replied, like he gets asked this every day.
“Destiny… That’s crap! Why even have a guardian if you aren’t going to save me from pain.”
“Like I said before, destiny. I just have to make sure you go through certain steps.”
Dean looks down at a folder he was holding behind his back.
“Lets see... you getting that job after your mom died, so you could help Sam. Meeting Nat.”
“Don’t say his name” I sneer
“Oh yeah sorry, meeting Him.” Still skimming the folder he finally says “And of course why we meet today, your death on January 10 2009.”
“But why now. I’ve barley lived.” For the first time I’m on the rim of tears.
“But its suppose to be this way. It’s all destiny. The sooner you get to that conclusion the lest we have to stay he. To sooner you get to move on to a different life. A better one, one with less pain.”
“Are you sure?” I ask looking at him.
“Why would I lie to you Emma?” Dean looks back at a smile spreads across his face. “I am your guardian” he walks past me and goes to the gates.
“Yeah because you’ve been so much help before,” I say following him to. And then through the gates hoping wishing that my next life will be better some way. Fewer regents, less pain, more family and love, but what do I know I am just a 16 year old girl. And sometimes we all have to go fully, let destiny take its course through our life. (Maybe have more faith in the guardians that show up in are life.)