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11:39, I have never been late to class, I’m scared of what would happen. I’m afraid of what other people would think of me, what would my teachers think and say to me? 11:40, why can’t I be late, why do I care so much about my tardiness? How come I am always doing what other people tell me to do? 11:41, I am going to be late, I freak out and jump into my car. There is this internal spirit inside me that doesn’t allow me to be late, it makes me do my homework, and it doesn’t allow me to ditch class.
I realize that going slowly and even hitting every red light, I will make it to school at tops in five minutes. I leave fifteen minutes early from my house, only to get to school and realize that I am ten minutes early for class.
Sitting in class the door shuts and my teacher beginnings drawing on the board. In comes two girls late from lunch.
“Is it about time for a watch ladies?” My teacher told them.
“Sorry we were late, we just got behind.”
“Yeah whatever, sit down and listen.”
My teacher used the public embarrassment technique to make the students feel bad about themselves. He would get the rest of the class to “oo” and “ahh” as he made his students feel like idiots. I sat awkwardly starring at the girls, how can they arrive late? What allows them to deal with the fact that they will get chewed out? I wandered off in my mind asking all sorts of questions. After that I tried to put myself in the place of the person getting asked and come up with some answers for myself. This sounds extremely silly, but if students would like to survive in school, they must come up with little ways to amuse themselves.
“Tate, what the heck are you doing?”
O crap that’s me, I freaked out, what was I doing? I had been nodding my head for sometime to answer the questions in my head. My head ran wild; I wondered what the two girls who were late thought of me, what about the three boys in the back of the class?
“Eh-eh I think I have a strain or something.” I said to my teacher trying not to look him in the eyes.
“Holy smokes Tate… you are the strangest person I have ever met.”
I laughed off the joke with the rest of my class, secretly wondering what he and the rest of the class thought of me. Thank the lord that class went by fast today, it seemed after that embarrassment the class was on turbo speed and before I knew it I was in the halls walking to my next class. I always get a kick out of walking through the halls because everyone is abiding by the schedule. Everyone is doing what they’re told without being told. What kind of power and authority can accomplish the complete control of 2500 high school teenagers? In the halls everyone has that same looks; for example there are go-to-class looks, I have a lot of homework looks, and I can’t wait until 3 o’clock looks. I feel like cattle, being controlled to the fullest.
I came to the door of my math class; I stood there frozen, staring at where the base board met the wall. I was completely comfortable, the kind of comfort that allows you to look at a certain object for an extended period of time. I was feeling an urge go through me, and out of my body. This was an uncontrollable urge, a free spirited urge. The bell rang and I didn’t go to class. I stood in that hall for what felt like a couple minutes when my teacher Mr. Robinson came to talk to me.
“Tate, why the hell are you just standing there?”
“I’m not coming to your class today, I refuse.” I walked out the door and into a nice unresisting breeze.