Saying Goodbye

November 20, 2007
By
A field of swaying golden flowers rippled as a light breeze breathed through the valley. The tears cascaded down my cheeks in streamlets of glistening sorrow, dripping off the edge of my chin and spilling down onto the soft grass beneath me. My fists were clenched in desperation, to ease the pain I felt inside. My heart felt as if it were split, as if God had tore it open and filled it with a void nothingness.
A hand rested on my shoulder, as my sister tried to calm me down. "It's time to say goodbye." she whispered in my ear, her voice quaking with nervousness.
I slowly tilted my head upward and choked, "But...I...don't...want..to...say..." the last word left my mouth in a hateful scorn. "Goodbye."
Jessica's eyes were full of pity as she fumbled in her pants-pocket for a tissue. She pulled the tissue out and gingerly wiped the tears from my swollen-red face.
I swatted her hand away as she finished. Jessica drew back, a faint gasp escaping her dry lips. My teeth were gritted, and I could feel the salty water collect in my eyes as a wave of rememberance washed over me.
We were on this very hill, the sun shining brightly, not a cloud in the pure blue sky as the crystalline light spread over the land.
Lance was sitting beside me, his soft blue eyes glowing with happiness. Such happiness he had! His light-creme hair was being tossed by the wind's playful fingers, his loose white t-shirt flapping slightly. I gazed into his watery eyes, that seem to reflect the ocean waves. He smiled, not uttering a word. Our breathing is the only thing that could be heard, apart from the music of nature. Lance glanced my way quickly, then sighed.
"Don't you love the sunset?" he asked, staring blankly at the sun.
I grinned. "Yeah. It's really pretty."
Lance turned his body to me, his eyes never leaving the sun. "Wouldn't it be magical if I could just pluck that large, orange gem from the sky and give it to you as an engagement ring?"
I chuckled. "Yeah, Lance, pluck the sun from the sky! That sounds like a Bob Dilan song or somethin'."
Lance's eyes widened for a moment and then he laughed. "What if I could do it? Would you be truly happy?"
I sighed, my eyes slitting as forgotten pain started to flood my mind. "I'll never be truly happy. The world is a cruel and meaningless place. Why be happy and even live when everything just withers away in the end?"
Lance laughed again, this time more deeply and longer. "The world is cruel, true. But, it can also be a very pleasant place. Life is such a wonderful thing. It withers away only to be reborn."
I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. "But, why, be happy? There's no damn thing to be happy about!"
He swallowed hard and continued, "There is alot to be happy about. You, yourself, is one thing. Your loved ones, your friends, everything is something to be happy about. Think about the grass and the trees, the ocean and the sky. Hell, what about the sun! Elisabeth, be happy. You only have one life on this Earth as you, and you should enjoy every bit of it!"
I averted my gaze from his lingering eyes, and my skirt became spotted with damp circles.
Lance crawled nearer to me, and then embraced me in his warm arms. He then breathed in my ear, "You do have something to be happy about." he paused. "Me. I will always be here for you, no matter what."
I smiled and then we were drawn in a wonderful, relaxing kiss. I licked my lips when we were done and Lance flashed his teeth, a huge grin plastered on his face.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"Believe in yourself." he uttered back. Then I stretched out and yawned. Lance stood up and held out a hand. I gratefully accepted it and he pulled me up. As I was being brought up, he pressed my body into his chest and kissed me lightly on the forehead. Lance then fished around in his pocket and then slid his hand out. A gorgeous, velvety red rose held in a cute little bow was grasped in his hand. He handed it to me, and I gawked, wide-eyed at the most elegant rose I'd ever seen. I smelled it's wonderful fragrance and then stroked its silky petals. As I did so, my eyes caught a sparkle in the center and I coiled my fingers around something hard and smooth.
And pulled out a glimmering, diamond ring.
Lance's angelic features suddenly lit up with a heavenly luster as he kneeled down and wrapped his gentle hands around mine.
"Elisabeth Morgan, will you marry me?"
I gulped and then trapped Lance in a deathly kiss.
He already knew the answer.
That was five years ago, before the accident.
A sudden rush of tears poured from my eyes, as I thought about his sweet words and enchanting smile.
Five years...Five years had passed since that god-forsaken day! The day Lance was killed in a car-crash, ten minutes from our home. He was leaving for an important, nightly conference at his work and was already late. He didn't speed, though. It was the other car that did. I remembered his final words, that twinkle in his serene eyes. The eyes that always warmed my cold soul.
"I'll be back! But you gotta promise to remember. Don't stop believing." and he kissed my forehead and vanished in the cloak of night.
I came back to reality and realized the horrible truth. Five years I had been depressed. Laying alone in my bed, in secluded solitude. I had kept away from human contact and cried every day, mourning my beloved.
Today was supposed to be his 30th birthday. My family and I were at his grave, celebrating, for my sake.
I felt a little tap on my shoulder and whirled around to see a little blond-haired boy. He was smiling, and his light-blue eyes danced in the sunlight.
"Don't cry." He said, grinning.
I turned my head and shook it. "I can't."
The little boy took my hands in his tiny fingers, his eyes daring me to get up. I did, and he looked up at me, staring at me, long and hard.
And whispered, "It's time to say goodbye."
I swallowed hard and uttered into the wind, "Goodbye."
And the little boy ran away into the sunset, leaving a red rose behind in my hands.





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Leah said...
Dec. 29, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Loved ut
 
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