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drowning

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i look up at the rain, water droplets fall around my face. the sky is black, almost as black as my broken heart. he killed them, he killed them all. i had loved him, i had left him, and then he killed them. my family, my freinds, every one i had loved, gone. i faced the storm, wishing it would wash me away with it's cold rain and fast winds. everything around me was a blur as i stood on the edge of the bridge. i step off, and fall through the cold night air. what is life if you have no one to live it with. water, cold and black, swirls around me. i see nothing, and soon my senses begin to numb as i sink farther into the cold churning black water. i sink, faster and fater. i do fight the water as it forses it's way into my lungs. drowning isn't as bad as i thought it would be. it is not just strugling, flaily arms and fighting lungs, but letting go. my life flashes past my eys, and i remember all the good things that had happened. i regret my dision, and i kick off the bottem of the river. i emerg from the darkness, and swim to the shore. i lay down on the wet ground, the rain still lashing against my face. i cry, tears stinging my face, but it feels good. my leg hurts, but it also feels good, because it meens i'm still alive. i stand and i walk away. he will not beet me down. he may have destroyed all i love, but he will not destroy me. i pick myself up and reasemble my crumbling heart. he killed the old me, but the new me was born from the ashes. i am stronger, he broke me down, but i rose back up. revenge is not want i want, i want life; i want to live.





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