I am so bored thank goodness this class is almost over. I hate English so much. “So class the assignment for next time is to write a five page essay on an experience that has changed your life,” announced Professor Clark. My mind goes blank when the words process through my mind, I just look straight ahead at old Clark and the next thing that enters my mind is KATY!

It was just a regular July evening when my whole life stopped, and when I say stopped I mean it. I was at a party hanging out and drinking with all my friends as I normally did on a Saturday night. I got a phone call from my mom asking me to pick up my little sister from her friends house which was on my way home. The party was getting boring so I figured,” what the heck I’ll just go get her”. After picking my sister up we were jamming out to the radio, heading home, when I start to get a little clouded up in my mind. As cars were driving by the headlights were so bright I felt as if I was staring right into the blazing beams of the sun. All of a sudden my car drifted into the other lane right into oncoming traffic. It all happened so quickly I didn’t know what to do. Bright yellow headlights and the sound of windows shattering were the last things I remembered before everything went black.

When I finally regained consciousness I was in excruciating pain. I was covered in my own blood. I could feel the tube shoved down my throat that was helping me breath. I kept wondering, “ Where am I and what is going on?” I noticed the flashing red lights and the piercing sounds of the ambulance sirens. The paramedics had just shocked me to keep my heart beating, I could hear them yelling in a panic, but staying calm trying to save me. I felt a sensation of horrific pain jolting through my body from the shocks causing my head to turn to the side. When my eyes opened I saw the body covered in a white blanket. I thought to myself, where’s Katy. Then I began to yell, “ Katy! Where is my sister!” I could tell by the looks of remorse on the paramedics face in front of me that the body lying next to me was my dead little sister Katy. “Nooooo!” I sobbed. “Katy, Katy, wake up, come on, come back to me. Please Katy Please. I’m sorry, I am so sorry Katy I love you please come back.” I was sobbing and screaming so much I couldn’t speak anymore. My heart felt like it was being squeezed so tightly that it was going to burst. How could this happen, why Katy, why not me? I was the screw up, she didn’t even have the chance to live her life yet! She was only 15 years old. How could this have happened?

When I got out of all the surgery the next day they left me alone in the room lying on the hospital bed. I laid there motionless wanting to die. I couldn’t grasp the fact that I would never ever see my beautiful little sisters face ever again. How was I ever going to move on from this? I can’t handle all of this.

As days went by, I locked my self into my room away from any civilization. I couldn’t stand seeing my own mothers face every time she looked at me with a horrifying and tragic look. She was so torn apart every time she saw me or walked passed Katy’s room she would just break into tears. I felt so horrible. I was living with the grief of killing my sister who was the only person who I have ever been close to and I took her life away. I had ruined my sisters and families life.

It had been about a week since the accident when we had the funeral. I think that going to the funeral was one of the hardest moments I had and will ever have in my entire life. I woke up on the Friday morning of the funeral and tried to drag myself out of my bed but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go to the site where my sister was being buried. I couldn’t handle everyone talking and staring at me for what I did. I knew I was a screw up I didn’t need anyone else telling it to me. I knew that if I didn’t drink that night then I would be sitting here probably talking to Katy instead of dreading the funeral I was supposed to be at.

As the hours went by I laid in my bed with the house silent because no one else was there. The funeral was just about to begin when I kept thinking to myself that I would regret not going to her funeral. No matter how painful it was to see her being buried she would have wanted me there. Even though I was a screw up I know she still loved me, she tried to help me but I never listened. I owed it to her to be at the funeral. I raced down to the cemetery so I could get there before it was over.

When I walked up to her grave site everyone’s heads turned to me. There was over 75 people there because she was so loved by so many people. I went over to stand by the rest of my family. After the pastor was finished giving the message for her funeral there was a time when people could go up to the coffin and lay their hands on it and say a prayer for her. After a few moments when the people began to clear out I built up my courage to go up and talk to her. As the tears began to run down my face I fell to my knees and said, “Katy I love you so much, you are my life, I am so sorry. For all the times you tried to help me and I never listened, I am sorry.” I pulled out of my jacket pocket the old yellow stained bible that she read every night before she went to bed. She always tried to get me to read it but I never did. “I promise to you that I will turn my life around. I promise that I will live my life for you everyday. I am so sorry that my stupid decisions cost you your life and your chance to live it. I love you so much and I promise you that I will read this bible that meant so much to you and try to be the amazing, irreplaceable person that you were. I am not living my life for just me anymore, I am living it for you. I love you and will miss you everyday.” I just sat there sobbing for a long time when all of a sudden my mother came up behind me. My mother looked at me but not the way she had been since the day of the accident, no now she had an apologetic look and began to tear up with me when she said, “I am so sorry Lucas, I love you and forgive you for this.” I knew how hard that was for her to say since I took her daughters life away. I ran into my mothers arms and said, “Mom I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to. I never wanted this to happen. I promise I will turn my life around for you and for Katy.”

Just as the clock strikes two Professor Clark says, “Class dismissed and don’t forget about your essays.” I snap back into reality. I know exactly what I am going to write my essay on. I haven’t told anybody here at college what had happened to my sister and I three years ago but I think that this will be perfect to write about. I need to have a way to be able to express my feeling about the life changing experience Katy gave me three years ago. I miss my sister everyday. I remember that today would have been her 18th birthday and it kills me not being able to spend it with her in person but I have been reading that old yellow stained bible ever since the funeral and I know she is in a better place now. “Katy I know you’re here watching over me and I love and miss you everyday. Happy 18th birthday little sis.” I crack a smile when I see an extra bright beam of sunlight coming from the sky. I know that’s her shinning her light down on me.