Accident ch.1

November 21, 2010
By EliBurrows BRONZE, Geelong, Other
EliBurrows BRONZE, Geelong, Other
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"i will fight for you"


I stared at the computer screen tiredly. This was the fourth day in a row where I had not been able to write a thing. There were bags under my eyes from the hours I had spent thinking of ideas for the perfect ending, but yet I had not prevailed. My mother had learned quite a while ago not to disturb me when I was in this state. My life still hasn’t gotten back to normal since the accident, people don’t look at me the same and that’s why I chose to stay indoors. My room looked like any teenagers room with band posters and pictures of friends. My room was the colour of the setting sun and always made me tired. The curtains were a dull yellow colour keeping little light out. I had a desk that was made of oak yet covered in mess. My bed was a four-poster with a soft gray material spreading around it, with the bed cloths a nicely coloured black and white. In all my room was my haven and I spent all my time there. When I was five I remember saying that my favourite colour in the whole world was pink but that changed last summer, as did many things. If I am going to tell you my story I might as well start from the beginning, so here I go.

“Taylor get out of bed now or you’re going be late for school” my mother called

I rolled over and shoved the covers off my bed. I yawned and stretched then put my feet over the side of the bed. I looked around at my room and sighed. I was going to have to clean it when I got home. I walked over to the adjoining bathroom and started the shower. I started to get undressed when I remembered I forgot a towel. I walked down the hall to the laundry cupboard and pulled out my favourite pink towel and headed back to the bathroom. When I finally got into the shower the water was just the right temperature. I opened my bottle of strawberry smelling shampoo and put some in my hand. I rubbed it into my hair and then washed it out. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in my towel then went back to my bedroom. Then I went to my closet and picked out the most floral dress I owned and put on my white ballet flats and went down stairs.

“Finally she awakens”

“Mum I woke up straight away and you know it.” I complained

“I’m just joking around pumpkin.” my mother laughed.

I couldn’t help but laugh with her.



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This article has 7 comments.


on Dec. 3 2010 at 3:27 am
EliBurrows BRONZE, Geelong, Other
2 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"i will fight for you"

thanks to all of you =] the next chapter should be up in the next week or so =]

aylinnnz GOLD said...
on Nov. 30 2010 at 3:13 pm
aylinnnz GOLD, Bronx, New York
13 articles 3 photos 42 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Maybe no one's really crazy. Everyone is just a little bit mad. How much depends on where you fall in the spectrum. How much depends on how lucky you are." - Joshua Walters

its supr good!

Cuud you read some of my stuff? That'd b awesomeee.,thanks if you do! :)  nd once again.,goooood storii! :D


on Nov. 29 2010 at 5:15 pm
bluebird SILVER, Sandy Hook, Connecticut
8 articles 0 photos 45 comments
I think it's okay, but when I started reading it I realized that you and I have the same problem. We're too descriptive and lose our reader quickly. Control your mind, it's hard, I know. There are so many things to say! Also, in the quotes; try to remember to put commas at natural pauses. I tend to put in too many commas because my mind wanders and makes run-ons. Write all you can and love yourself, you have pure talent! -Noelle

Lay18 PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 29 2010 at 10:35 am
Lay18 PLATINUM, Portsmouth, Virginia
30 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live and Learn

this is awsome.

can you check out some of my work?


on Nov. 25 2010 at 10:44 am
MysteryHeart GOLD, Thorold, Other
14 articles 0 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
Usted es especial! AKWARD!!! (in an opera like voice), ohhh fasha', what the huh?,who in the name of what?, sanity now!

It s great cant wait to see the second chapter.when do u suppose ull have it done? would really like to read it if it doesn't get to the front page of the newly submitted fiction?

JacobC GOLD said...
on Nov. 23 2010 at 3:50 pm
JacobC GOLD, Belgium, Wisconsin
10 articles 4 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Am I indecisive? Well, yes and no." -Anonymous

Please keep writing.  It's very good.

Obi said...
on Nov. 23 2010 at 3:33 pm
Good job. Your super descriptive.


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