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Prep Time: 2 minutes
Cook Time: 9 months
5 cups of purple iPod (Rock ‘n Roll mixed with a dash of metal, and a pinch of country).
1 pound of Night (Lygophobia, furry blankets, and sleeping) peeled and tenderized.
3 ounces of the Fantasy Fiction section in the library.
1 pint heavy Art Portfolio & Unfinished Novels or “APUN” cream.
1 large clumsy fruit (be sure to check if it’s covered in bruises, band-aids, and has broken bones), sliced in triangular chunks.
8 Tablespoons of family juice(loving and overbearing parents, mixed with 2 dorky, protective, and rough older brothers).
1 Black, long-haired kitten and freshly ground love.
1/4 cup minced Fear (Arachnophobia and Driving phobia).
1/4 cup Salted, toasted Ducati, for garnish.
1/2 cup Mystery and compassion, seasoned heavily with Irish Pride.
Melt your purple iPod in a long-handled frying pan over medium heat. Be careful not to burn yourself! Add night and sauté for 6 seconds. The mixture should become a very dark purple, and radiate moonlight. If not, you did it wrong.
Mix in all of your mystery and compassion that you previously seasoned with Irish Pride to give it that firecracker attitude. Remove it from the burner and carefully add the fantasy section of the library to the pan. Don’t freak out if you hear the clashing of swords, and the roar of dragons. That’s normal. It should now be the entire color spectrum.
Ignite it with a long fireplace match and return to heat. Shake until the flames burn down and go out. Add heavy APUN cream and clumsy fruit to the pan. Boil and reduce until thickened, then add family juice. Season it to taste with black kitten and love. Do not overcook or the flambé will become a block. Sprinkle with fear and toasted Ducati. Now put it in the oven and cook for 9 months.