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The Monologue of an Insane Child
SUNNY: Um… hi everyone… I’m Sunny… I’m kinda nervous since this is all in public and everything, but it’s okay because I’ve got my pet cow with me. His name is Mooby, but he doesn’t really like that name… People sometimes think I’m weird when Mooby talks, because they say that he isn’t real and they say that I’m insane. But Mooby doesn’t think so, do you Mooby?
MOOBY: I hate you.
SUNNY: Wha-? Wahhhhh! I thought you liked me!
MOOBY: No, I never did. And I probably never will. Your entire face disgusts me and don’t even get me started on your horribly put together outfit, oh my goodness, who dresses you boy?! Can I get a whut-whut for all who agree?
SUNNY: Mooby! What has gotten into you today?
MOOBY: Oh just stop the act; you know I’m always like this and you’re just trying to make a good impression for me. Well here’s what I think of all you little kiddies: I hate you all! All of you are ugly and insignificant to the world, and I’d be more than happy to end your worthless lives.
SUNNY: *gasp* MOOBY! STOP THAT! *sigh* So I suppose I’ll tell you a little bit about Mooby. He was once just a little piece of colored fabric, in a cow print of course. But after he was stuffed at the Stuffed Cows Company, he was sealed with the spirit of the mass murderer Jack the Ripper. And now, I’m trapped as his slave until our contract ends, which is end on August 18, 2010, right Mooby?
MOOBY: Yeah, so for the dunce who doesn’t know what today is, anyone want to enlighten him? I mean seriously, this is what I have to work with people.
(Waits till someone tells him that today is August 18, 2010.)
MOOBY: Oh really, well that’s just interesting. Okay, okay, so today is August 18. Well, in that case- *attacks Sunny*
SUNNY: Omagee! Get off me you stupid cow! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Someone, quick, call 911, call for your free consultation, call Channel 3 for Heaven’s sakes! –kills cow- I think it’s dead… Finally, Mooby is dead! -