Waking up in the middle of the night with the sound of sirens and thunder wasn’t like any other night. I was still in my bed, covered up because it was freezing. I didn’t really care at the time that there were sirens and thunder; I just wanted to go back to bed. I finally got out of my bed when I realized that everyone else was awake. I never liked to sleep when everyone else is awake. I feel like I miss stuff that was going on if I’m sleeping. It was 12:30 A.M when it happened. I wasn’t sleeping anymore; instead I was half awake with everyone else. I remember my mom most of all. Her eyes were red, and tears were rapidly coming down from her eyes. I never saw my mom that way before. I still didn’t know what was going on, since no one said a word. I guess I was half asleep. I wanted to ask what was going on, but I was scared that I would make the situation worse then it already was. I knew there was a situation. Then I saw him being carried out of the house into the ambulance. Then it hit me. I knew why everyone was like that. I didn’t know how to feel or what to do.

Later that night, we drove to the hospital. We drove slowly because it was raining heavily and there was thunder. My theory was that we really didn’t want to really go to the hospital, because then it would become real. When we arrived, I had bad feeling that I felt in my stomach. I could remember the room and the clean but weird smell of the hospital. The number on his door was 7C. When I went inside of his room he looked so weak, not like how I saw him everyday. I wanted to run over, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t see him like that. I knew what would happen to him. His cancer was getting worse. I didn’t want to believe it, but I really couldn’t do anything about it besides be there. I wanted to close my eyes and go back to sleep and pretend that it was all a dream. I hated not knowing what will happen. I just wanted to know why this did happened to him. I went to sleep and pretended that it will be okay in the morning.

I woke up in the morning with the same awful feeling. I knew too much had happened while I was asleep, since everyone was already awake. I could just feel it. He wasn’t in his bed in room 7C anymore. I knew exactly what had happened. The worst part was that I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I felt emotionless. Tears just wouldn’t come out. I hated crying in front of people. I just hated it because everyone looks at you wondering why you’re crying. The best thing they can do is leave you alone. I sat in the same spot all day with my iPod, I really didn’t want to deal with anyone. That day I didn’t want to bother or deal with anyone. All I wanted was peace and quiet.

The next day we went to his funeral. I was wearing black and so was everyone else. I didn’t feel like being there. His pictures were around the room. I remembered those times when he was alive and I missed him so much. I would trade anything just to talk to him again. Goodbye Grandpa. Even though he’s gone, I know he’s still here beside me.