Moon Light

September 1, 2010
By LiveItUpGodsWay SILVER, Tomball, Texas
LiveItUpGodsWay SILVER, Tomball, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fall for someone that wont break your heart. (i made that up)


I am sitting on my chair watching the fire burn bright as the night sky. The moon light filling the night air as the wind blows softly. I hear a noise coming from the kitchen but that could be the wind. So I got up and went to the kitchen to see what the noise was. I look down and see that a little mouse was eating on a piece of cheese. I was watching the mouse as it ate. The mouse didn’t see me and out of no where it scatters. I turn around and my husband was right behind me. As I jumped he grabbed me, holding me close. He whispered in my ear saying “Sorry darling did I stutter you?” When he whispered in my ear I had a random cold chill run across my spine. I softly whispered back “yes Hun you did. I didn’t hear you come through the door.” “I am sorry. I called your name but I couldn’t find you, I thought you were gone. Then I heard something in the kitchen and thought it was you so I came here” he said.


The author's comments:
I wrote this in English and thought it would be a great story and i want to know what you think of what i have so far.!

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This article has 7 comments.


on Sep. 6 2010 at 6:18 pm
Ashley_Tucker, Granger, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real? ~ Albus Dumbledore

You've got some pretty good writing skills, but I had a hard time reading it. You need to work on 1st person 2nd person 3rd person. I'm no expert, but I could definently tell. And you started using was like you were recalling it and then started talking like it was happening then. I wish you would have given more of a glimpse into what the story was about so i could give you my opinion but... :/

on Sep. 6 2010 at 1:21 am
LiveItUpGodsWay SILVER, Tomball, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fall for someone that wont break your heart. (i made that up)

i will! i am almost done! just got to finisht he last detials and i will post the rest

on Sep. 6 2010 at 1:21 am
LiveItUpGodsWay SILVER, Tomball, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fall for someone that wont break your heart. (i made that up)

well, i am still working on the story(: i am almost done! and when i am done i will post the new story

on Sep. 6 2010 at 1:20 am
LiveItUpGodsWay SILVER, Tomball, Texas
8 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
Fall for someone that wont break your heart. (i made that up)

well i am not done with the storyxD and the mouse has a major role, i just got to finish

on Sep. 4 2010 at 5:01 pm
booknerd BRONZE, Robinson, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Reality is merely an illusion. Albeit a very persistant one."















-Einstein

I liked it! I thought it was short and to the point but maybe a little confusing. Other than that I thought it was good!!! Will you check out my work? I need some comments and reviews!

on Sep. 4 2010 at 11:13 am
FlyingNewt BRONZE, Bloomington, Indiana
1 article 4 photos 64 comments
i really liked it you should expand it a bit though great job

on Sep. 3 2010 at 9:39 pm
juliam PLATINUM, Windermere, Florida
21 articles 4 photos 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us learn to write in second grade. Most of us go on to greater things

I don't get it.

I don't mean to be mean, but the story has no plot, the characters have no life, and it's too short to actually mean anything. 

And why is the mouse in the story?



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