Just One Wish

August 18, 2010
By diaphragm BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
diaphragm BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 86 comments

I gazed up at the sky, my eyes dead, my breathing shallow. I stared and stared, until the blue transformed to navy. I didn’t change my kneeling posisition, even though my legs were asleep.
I didn’t know what I was waiting for, maybe I was hoping if I stayed still like this long enough, I would die. I wanted it to end, the suffering, the daily abuse, the hunger, the yelling, and the fighting. I didn’t want to put up with it anymore. If I died, would my troubles end?
Eventually, the navy changed to black, and still I didn’t move. Were the answers I sought up in the sky? The answers to how to end it all?
I was too tired to sit up, so I fell to the ground. But my gaze didn’t shift, and my eyes stayed trained on heavens. There was no source of light, because it was a new moon.
Just as blackness began appearing on the edge of my vision, warning me I was on the verge of losing consciousness, I noticed a small light among the void of darkness. The first star. It gazed down on me, and I stared back up at it.
The first star… I thought. I remembered when I was little-when I was happy-my mother told me that you could make a wish on the first star that appeared at night. I’d tried it before, but it’d never worked. But now was different, now I needed it the most.
Just one wish… I thought. Just let this one wish come true…


The author's comments:
After years of abuse, the character has just been abandoned by her mother. I might make a story out of this depending on how it's recieved :)

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This article has 9 comments.


on Dec. 16 2010 at 6:24 pm
diaphragm BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 86 comments
thank you very much~!

on Sep. 4 2010 at 9:36 pm
Healing_Angel SILVER, Sydney, Other
8 articles 2 photos 513 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live for today, not for tomorrow

This is beautiful!

Coffee BRONZE said...
on Aug. 28 2010 at 1:49 pm
Coffee BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
4 articles 5 photos 184 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your Face.

I'll check it out too

on Aug. 28 2010 at 12:00 pm
diaphragm BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 86 comments
thanks alot! and I'll check out your story ;)

on Aug. 27 2010 at 9:02 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don't believe in hell but I believe in my parent's couch-- Watsky

I could totally go for more of this!  The emotion in this was just amazing!  This was really, really good.  Of coarse, I'm no the author so I don't get to decide, but if you're are trying to decide between realistic fiction and fansasy, I'd go with fansasy for two reasons.  1)  Your screen name is FantasyNight, and 2)  There are way less Fanstasy stories on this sight than realistic fiction, so you'd have a better chance of getting published.

Oh, and I didn't see any grammar mistakes, so good job!

Can you check out my stoty, "Encounter"?


on Aug. 25 2010 at 8:17 pm
diaphragm BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 86 comments
:D ok! hmm...can't decide wether to make it realistic or fantasy...

Coffee BRONZE said...
on Aug. 25 2010 at 8:02 pm
Coffee BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
4 articles 5 photos 184 comments

Favorite Quote:
Your Face.

I realy like this story! It's written really really well! Please post more! ;)

on Aug. 25 2010 at 7:56 pm
diaphragm BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 86 comments
thanks! :D

on Aug. 25 2010 at 7:37 am
ForeverWonderland BRONZE, Tallahassee, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 53 comments

Favorite Quote:
Cross me, and the protagonist dies. ...Then again, they probably will anyway.

So beautiful. :') LOVE IT




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