A Thank You Letter to My Past

August 2, 2010
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Dear Tyler, Kelsi, Kelsi’s Parents, Carolyn, Janee, Goddess, and Lunden,
I’m sending you this letter, some 10+ years after losing contact with you for several reasons. First, you have been my driving force for pushing past life’s obstacles and making something of myself. Because of you, I have worked my hardest to break out of the iron cast mold in which you placed me. Sure, there have been times that I’ve questioned whether or not you were right. I’ve wondered if I really was an idiot, a slacker, a liar, a cheater, a no one. But every single time I look back upon those instances when you said these things, I realized that they are all entirely untrue. This is not a poison pen letter, like all the other ones I’ve written over the years in hopes to trounce your spirits in the way you did mine. This is a thank you, a letter of the utmost appreciation for giving me the gall to reach for things that seemed so ridiculously unattainable. Tyler, thank you for challenging me to become secure in who I am, and for showing me that I AM worth loving. Kelsi, thank you for causing the revelation that I am NOT insane, I have an artists mind and a child’s heart. Kelsi’s Parents, thank you for filling your daughter’s head with negative notions about me, they served to rip me out of my comfort zone and thrust me into the unknown, where found that I could never be, or want to be, your idea of a ‘lady’. Carolyn, thank you for giving a new meaning to affliction. Because of you, I have learned to surround myself with people that immerse me in warmth and positive energy. Janee, thank you for being afraid of me. As a result of your avoidance, I have made a conscious effort to smile with my eyes and be gentle with the people I meet. Goddess, thank you for inadvertently pushing me to disprove every foul word you’ve spoken of me. Maybe if you re-met me today, you’d see me in a different light. Lunden, thank you for making it clear that you thought you were better than me. Only then could I see that ‘better’ will forever be subjective. I’m writing this to tell you all that I became the person I am today with your help. Maybe I’m still not the girl you thought I should be, but thanks to you, I am the best me I could ever imagine.

An idiot, a slacker, a liar, a cheater, a no one.

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