To Cheat Or Not To Cheat, That Is The Question

August 5, 2010
Human: Where am I?

Death: You're on the brink of death. I'm going to have to take record of how you died, and when. [clicks pen] Please, begin.

Human: What? How is this real?

Death[sighing, putting on reading glasses and flipping through an old, dusty book]: They always ask me that. Right here. It says it right here. Death is real. Death is natural. Now can we just get on with this? Time is money.

Human: Why do you need money?

Death: Just answer my questions!

Human: I don't want to!

Death: You have to.

Human: Nuh-uh.

Death: Yeah-huh.

Human: Nuh-uh.

Death: Just. Answer. The. Gosh. Darn. Questions! Then I'll be gone, you'll be dead, and everything will be happy happy joy joy.

Human[whining]: Can't I just cheat death? Like in the books? Why can't that happen?

Death: No, you can't.

Human: Why not?

Death: It isn't fair.

Human: Life isn't fair!

Death: But I'm not life. I'm death.

Human: ......Touche.

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