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A Meaningful Moment Through a Meaning(less) Process
I kept kicking into his ribs. He cried and cried in agony. My friend Tau kept screaming, “ Kick it! kick that n****r! Show it who’s superior and who’s inferior!” I listened to him. Don’t know why. There was nothing wrong with the man I was hurting. All he did was ask for some spare change and then Tau pushed him to the ground and told me to kick him. Blood started to gush out of his mouth. It got silent. I looked down on the man. He had given up. “ What are you doing?! Kick him!” screamed Tau.
“ No, that’s enough,” I told him. He stared at me and said,” What the hell Mu! What happen when we use to just beat up n*****s till they couldn’t walk?”
“ I think this man got what he deserved, so lets just leave him,” I explained. Tau let out a sigh,” All right, so what do we do now?”
“ I’m going home,” I said, starting to walk down the sidewalk.
“ But what about this n****r?” he asked.
“ Just leave him be,” I ordered. There was no response from Tau. All I heard where grunts from the man, and Tau’s foot cutting the air.
When I got home I saw a letter attached to my door. My hand reached for it and I opened it. It was an invitation to a protest for kicking all the Mexicans back to their country. I crumbled it up and threw into my lawn. I bended down, pulled up the rug and got the key to the house. My body straighten itself, and my hand put the key into the knob and twisted it. A blast of cool air hit me as the door opened. I always had the A.C. at 48 degrees Fahrenheit. It was empty. It always was. I heard a sound. It was the T.V.. I walked to my living room and saw the television on and on the couch was a naked women. She saw me and leisurely walked towards me. She put her hand out and I immediately grabbed it. She then pulled me to her and held me. I started to cry. She stroked my hair, “ Its all right, just close your eyes.” She continued to stroke my hair and began to hum a song. I remembered it. It was a song from my music box. My eyes then opened. Nobody was there. It was empty. The television was still on, though. “ Brrrinng! Brrrinng!” the phone ranged. I shuffled my way to the kitchen and picked the phone, which was by my knife collection. “ Hello?” I said.
“ Is this Mu?” a voice asked.
“ Are you going to go to the protest tomorrow? “
“ Do you have any non-white friends spouses, girlfriends?”
“ Okay then, see you tomorrow”
“ Goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. I stared at the knives, “ Sucide is for the weak minded, suicide is for the weak minded, suicide is for the weak minded.”
My head began to hurt. “ I need pills,” I thought, while my body walked to the bathroom. In the bathroom I opened the cabinet and got my pills and plastic cup. My hand pulled the sinks knob and water began to pour out. I just stared at the water. My body was still, then my hand got the plastic cup and filled it with sink water. I turned off the sink. Then my other hand popped the top off the pill bottle and I grabbed two pills and gulped them down. I stared at myself in the mirror. It was disgusting to see this person. It always was.
She kissed me and kissed me and then told me,” Don’t leave.”
I heard knocking, and quickly got out of bed. The person kept knocking. I then reach the door and check who was there. It was Tau. I opened the door, “ Mu, aren’t you going to the protest today?” he asked.
“ Yes.” He began laughing, “ For a moment I thought you were going to say no.” “ Come on then, lets go,” he said. I followed him outside and got in his car. He started it up and we left off.
When we reach the area of protest I saw two sides. One side, the people had golden colored skin, the other side had people with pearl white skin, a pure color. We went with the pearls. In between both sides were a row of cops on top of horses. Tau parked behind the crowd. We got out and heard chanting. Our side kept chanting,” End crime, block the line! End crime, block the line! End crime, block the line!” The side of the golden skinned people chanted,” No ones to blame, we have rights too! No ones to blame, we have rights too! No Ones to blame, we have rights too!” My head began to hurt,” Hey Tau, I’m gonna take a break.” He didn’t hear and continued chanting. I walked away from the crowd found a spot far enough from the two crowds. I sat down on the side walked. Next to me was a golden skinned boy. He ignored me. We were both silent. We just stared at the people screaming to each other. We felt nothing for either side. “ Hey boy, do you know why you’re doing this?”
“ No,” he responded.
“ We’re suppose to hate each other aren’t we”
“ I guess”
“ But I don’t hate you”
“ Nor do I,” he said. We continued to stare at the crowd, wondering, wishing we could feel. “ But I must hate you, even if I don’t,” the boy told me. “ So must I,” I said too. We then both walked our separate ways to the place we were predestined to be.