Notes From the Enclave

June 18, 2010
By MaketheFlame GOLD, Queens Village, New York
MaketheFlame GOLD, Queens Village, New York
12 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Like an angel with two broken wings. Reach for the sky again. Like the devil, meant for better things. I will find my place on high"

From The Record Archives
Collection of multiple sources

Carved in the wood of the westward cabin wall- 30 days before repudiation:
Pushed to a corner. No room for heads to move. No room for new positions. Arms smashed to a corner for trying to. The thrashing to break free, the shouting to call attention was just a nuisance. There is no room inside this place without adjusting. The room is too tightly packed with people. No air to speak. I must stand still to fit in. And I feel my muscles cramping, being awake. I am already spoon-fed, fed for prolonged stillness.

Second carving on the wall- 26 days before repudiation:
I want to go. I see the door on the other side. And the door is open. Oh, how I long to leave! Wanting to stretch and move and speak and sing. I still feel my muscles cramping, and the pain slowly elevates. How long before it is permanent, leaving me crippled and still, with no chance to move out the door?

Memo sent- 24 days before repudiation
The door is open, but how will you reach it? My son, how will you leave? How will you live in the wilderness? There is only this cabin. The kitchen is inside. How will you eat? Once out, move all you want, but who will be there to see? Once out, say what you please, but who will be there to hear? Such a vast expanse of trees and little other life.

Third carving on the wall-22 days before repudiation:
I feel the lack of movement disabling the use of my hands. Disabling the use of my mind. “Don’t think,” you say “its easy this way”. Still, it seems I remain in this dead space.

Common word exchange- 19 days before repudiation:
My friends, there is someone standing outside the Cabin. She stands afar on a hilltop, and I have never seen such technologies. There are glasses to her eyes with multiple lenses, all switching and focusing. I have never seen someone tilt their face so close with feet so still. She holds something up to her eyes (and locks it in). Is it a gun or a telescope? How can we know?

Fourth caving on the wall- 14 days before repudiation:
I have heard of the one standing outside. Most haven’t seen her themselves, have only heard of her from whispers. Filled with fear, they have all taken out their guns throughout all the days since she arrived. I am nervous, but she is alone. We are so many, and as she can see we all have guns. I do not think we should kill. It would take a madman to attack so many people armed with guns. But they reason that only a madman would dwell outside.

What was whispered- 13 days before repudiation:
How can we be sure? Isn’t that what guns are for? Isn’t it?
Self defense and preservation. Just shoot and solve the problem.

Fifth carving on the wall- 9 days before repudiation:
I do not think she is mad. I have seen her. Where I was pushed was to a window, and I watch her day and night. Outside, she is allowed such motion: Her neck moves her head to look around, seeing the world surrounding. She moves her body free of cramping. She breathes the air. Her hands can move, building and building, engineering new technologies. They record and she reads them and writes new observations. I want so much to read again what I have thought and seen. I want so much for us to learn as she does when she reads. But the only technology we have is guns. The only education we have is aimed towards weaponry. I want so much to speak, and speak of this.

Sixth carving on the wall - 7 days before repudiation:
We do not have to murder. Why not use the guns to make her surrender? And then we can see exactly what it is she is holding. And I see the look in their eyes as I open my mouth to speak. Going from vacant to hostile.

What was whispered- 6 days before repudiation:
Why not use them to make her surrender? But then we’d have to go outside, exposed. Wouldn’t we? Only a few feet out…but we have never done that before. How do we know we will be able to move back into the door? No, this is much easier…this we have done before.

Seventh carving on the wall- 5 days before repudiation:
In horror I realize that this truly is a dead space. The phrase so suites the situation, that it is laughable it was ever used before. There are cold bodies all around me, of the dead and of others, for what better word than “cold” can be used to describe the ones who committed the act:
Where I was pushed was to a window. Through it I see the dead piled around us to protect this haven of tightly packed frozen people. I don’t know why I have ignored them until now, staring through the window only straight ahead. It appears that even the great dislike of my home could not keep me from denial. Perhaps I too am afraid without realizing. But it seems I must leave to progress beyond killing what is near and unfamiliar.

Memo sent- 4 days before repudiation:
I know this arrangement keeps us all alive. Yet our souls lay idle within us, in danger of fading. And I question our definition of living when there are so many killed for the sake of empty souls. And I know I may very well die. But father, how will we live in here? How will I remain alive?

Memo sent-2 days before repudiation:
I know you have come aware we are dying slowly. I know you believe that the blood has stopped in our veins. But it is so natural, you would not even realize. Things simply go dim, little by little. So natural…like falling asleep. By the way, did it not hurt when you became aware? Why did you do that to yourself my son? What is dying slowly without pain, to starving alone in the wilderness?

Last carving on the wall- 0 days before repudiation
I know it is possible. I know it is possible. Maybe not probable, but possible. The girl is outside and alone and alive, fending for herself in the wood. I can go out and warn her to steer clear of cabins. We can steer clear of cabins together, no longer alone. And there must be more life, more life out there. If not, then where did all the bodies come from?

End of document

The author's comments:
his is a science fiction story, but it also has a deeper meaning.

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This article has 3 comments.

ecofreak said...
on Aug. 22 2010 at 9:17 pm
My goodness, quite incredible! I am still shelll shocked thinking about the frozen bodies, I love the metaphor (I have some theories but I'm not sure if they are right) The format is much different than any other story I've seen posted very unique!

on Jun. 25 2010 at 3:40 pm
MaketheFlame GOLD, Queens Village, New York
12 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Like an angel with two broken wings. Reach for the sky again. Like the devil, meant for better things. I will find my place on high"

Well thanks! lol you didn't understand it, but as long as you enjoyed it, that's good enough for me

on Jun. 23 2010 at 5:33 pm
OfficialApprover PLATINUM, Orefield, Pennsylvania
48 articles 0 photos 1754 comments

Favorite Quote:
Grab life by the balls. -Slobberknocker
We cannot change the cards we're dealt just how we play the hand
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted
It's pretty easy to be smart when you're parroting smart people
-Randy Pausch

This was incredible, but I didn't really understand it.  Still, fantastic writing style, great job.  Keep writing!

Btw, will you check out and comment on my work?

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