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Dreaded Words

The words “Excuse me Savannah I need to talk to your parents alone” sound like death to me. As my parents and my doctor walk out of the room I see my normally happy, upbeat parents so stiff and scared. I can see them talking and their hands moving about, holding each other’s hands. Even looking in at me with scared, worried faces. My mum has sad eyes like a dog begging for a treat, and their faces look long and exhausted. Father’s face looks stressed and sleep deprived. I lie back on my hospital bed sick, and thinking “Did the treatment not work? How long do I have live? What do they know that I don’t?” As this goes through my head I can see my mum crying her bright blue eyes out and my dads’ glasses fogging up with tears. It must be really bad if dad’s crying too. My mind races as the worst situations run through my mind. They have their little talks daily but never like this. I know once my dad wraps his arms around my mum things have gone from worse to dreadfully unthinkable. Last time I saw him do that was when my parents got the news I have a rare form of skin cancer. My older brother sits by my side telling me “Savannah it will be okay” as he holds my hand, gripping it ever tighter. He is more scared to lose me than I am to die. He has been by my side since the diagnosis four years ago, and all the treatments and the experimental treatments. He is my knight in jeans and hoodie. He knows the tell tale signs just as well as I but maybe better since he’s been on the outside of that door and I never have. Now the silence fills the room, we have the ever going beeps and other strange noises my life machines make. Outside the door we hear a loud crash from behind the desk then it returns to the too clean hospital silence. I cross my arms across my chest and move my foot like I’m tapping it to show my parents to hurry up. If I’m dying I don’t have time for this, just tell me. Hayden takes my arm again and holds it tight and puts the blanket over my impatient feet. As out in the hallway, my mum sinks down on to a bench the rain outside picks up and the wind whips around the building and thunder clashes off in the distance. It seems everything is dreading this moment. Looking at how much they care, I remind my self that I have something special; a family to stand by me and support me. To sleep in chairs of weeks on end just to be by my side. Now my dad has joined my mum on the bench outside my room and across from the front desk for check in. All three of them look in the small window.
As I feel myself grasping for reality Hayden opens the window and the door opens and my parents enter.



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