I should have said no...

June 2, 2010
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June 11th 2009
Dear Diary
Who knew it would happen so fast? I didn’t, and I surely wasn’t expecting it. I mean one day I’m getting in my car driving home from the end of school party, and the next my whole life has been ruined. I can’t believe I was so stupid…

“ Katy!” my friend may hollered at me, “ are you coming tonight?”. “Oh, I don’t know. I wasn’t really invited, and plus, my parents really wanted to take my brother and I out to dinner to celebrate”. “Ahh, Katy, you KNOW you were invited” May said. “Lizzie came right up to you to personally invite you! PLEASE COME! It’ll be fun! And… Brad is going to be there”. “Oh my gosh May, stop! You don’t know who may be listening.. Plus, I don’t know if I even like him that much” I replied hesitantly. “Yes, you do! Just, please try to come. You really need to come and have fun with us tonight.” “ OKAY OKAY MAY we’ll see” .
I closed my car door behind me and pulled out of the student parking lot. After I pulled onto US1, I could take a breath, and get a chance to unwind before getting home. I love to drive. It gives me freedom I can’t find anywhere else That’s why I drive slow, because I really do enjoy being in my car. My car, for the most part, is where all my thinking goes on. I really didn’t want to miss out on this. Everyone was going to be there, and I HAD been invited. I knew my parents wouldn’t have a problem with going out another together night, especially if it meant I was going to go to a party. I just didn’t want to blow my chances with Brad by being the only “clean one” at the party.
“Kate” my mom said as I walked in the door “ why didn’t you tell me you were invited to a party tonight? Of course you can go! I wouldn’t want to you miss out on a good time with your friends just to go to dinner with your old folks! We’ll go tommrow night, no problem”. I rolled my eyes and asked “ May called, didn’t she?” “ Yes, about 10 minutes ago. She called and begged me to allow you to come to go out and celebrate with friends tonight”. “Oh May” I sigh. “ Mom, I don’t even know that I want to go”. “ why not?”, she asked. “ I don’t want to be the only kid there not drinking!”. “Well, May will be there with you, right? She doesn’t drink! And don’t worry about people drinking, I’m sure that won’t happen” “Yeah … I don’t know… well, I mean, I guess I could go. If your sure it’s okay with you and dad”. “ sure sweetie!” she insisted. “ You deserve to have a good time”.
Around eight I was on my way out and I said good bye to my mom. “I’m going to spend the night with May. I don’t want to have to drive all the way home that late, and I’m sure her parents won’t mind if I just crash there”. “ Okay hon” she replied “just make sure to call me to check in.”. “ I will mom”.
I got in my car a drove to go pick up May from her house. When I pulled up, may go into car and we drove off to Lizzies house. “ Oh my gosh Kate, this is going to be awesome” she said. “ Yeah, I hope so.”. “ Don’t be nervous kate, itll be fine!” “ Im not nervous” I replied” just, excited”. I knew it was important to put on a happy face for May, I didn’t want to ruin her time. Once we found lizzies house, I could smell the alcohol. “May, do you really want to go? I smell alcohol, and I’m not so sure I want to stay..”

“ Kate,” she replied “were going!”. It will be fine”. I parked the car and we walked up to the house. When we walked in, it looked like fun. Everyone was dancing around and singing to Lady Gaga. There was even a big poster of all our teachers and we all took turns throwing darts at them and burning homework. I even enjoyed the petty drama going on. I was actually having a lot of fun with my friends. “ KATE, oh my gosh, are you glad we came!” May yelled over the music “ YESSS!” I replied. I didn’t even feel like a loner for not drinking! “ KATE!”lizze said “ thanks for coming! Are you having fun?” “ oh, I am! Thanks for the invite!” “ oh, you’re welcome! Hey, I need you to turn in your keys if you are going to drink. Parent rule.”. “ oh, thanks lizzie, but I won’t be drinking tonight.” I said. “You sure?” she asked “ yes mam!” “ okay” she replied “I trust you. Have fun!”.
Once one am rolled around we started playing strip poker, and that was my exit cue. “ Hey may”, I asked, “ do you mind getting out of here? I can’t legally drive past one and its already one fifteen.” “kate, im sorry but I really want to stay! “ she said “ ill get a ride home from someone whose going that way.” “ No, its okay, really, I’ll wait if you want.” “ I don’t want you in trouble, why don’t you just go. I’ll only be like half an hour behind you. My house key is in the car, just let yourself in. My parents are sleep so don’t worry about that.” “Okay” I told her” but if you’re not home before 3 im coming back for you.”
I got to her house about one thirty. I didn’t really know what to do while she wasn’t there so I took a shower and changed into PJ’s. By the time I got out of the shower is two thiry, and I began to worry. I tried to take my mind off of it by watching TV. Eventually, three am rolled around, and still no May. I called her cell phone, but didn’t get an answer. I got in my car and went to go get her. “May.. I thought to myself.. geez! Make me come get you…”. When I pulled up to lizzies house, no one seemed to be there. I figured she had just fallen asleep so I went to knock on her door and get her. Lizzie answered the door, “ kate, what are you doing here?” “ I came to come pick up May” I explained. “I bet she feel asleep”. “No” Lizzie replied “May left about 45 mintues ago with roger. He said he was going to bring her home”. “ Oh, well, I’m sure they just stopped for food or something. Shes probaly home by now wondering where I am. Thanks Lizzie!”. “ Wait” lizzie said “let me know if shes at home.” “Okay” I replied “ I will!”.
When I got home, May wasn’t there. I tried her cell phone again, but still no answer. I decided to call Lizzie. “ Lizzie, shes not here. Do you have rogers cell phone number?” “ yeah, let me look. Its 544-3672.” “ thank you! I’ll keep you updated.” I called rogers cell 5 times. And got no answer. I called Lizzie back “ no answer… should we go look for them?” . “ Yeah” lizzie replied “I’ll meet you at the gas station at us1 and buckman in 10 minutes.” “ Okay, ill be there” I replied.
Lizzie and I got in her car and drove around the area looking for them. “ Maybe we should trace the road between her house and your house” I suggested. “ Sure” lizzie replied “I’m getting worried, aren’t you?” “ Yeah” I replied “ where could they be?” “ I don’t know” she replied. “ its almost four thirty, no wheres open!” “ True” I replied. “Now” lizzie said “ I’ll drive really slow down this road.” “ I cant see a thing I said, its so dark, can you turn your brights on?” “Sure” she said. “LIZZIE, OH MY GOSH, LOOK!” I scremed. “Is that Rogers car?” The car was flipped over. The windows were shattered. The front of the car was split by a tree. Lizzie pulled the car over. “ Lizzie, help me!” I opened the door and ran over to the car and used the light from my cell phone to look inside. “ They’re dead” l said. I looked over at lizzie who was in shock. “OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!” WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!” she screamed. I called 911, but I knew there was nothing we could do. I started cryimg uncontrollably. I flew my hands in the air and fell to the ground. Then in the midst of my angry hateful tears I looked over at lizzie and asked her, “did roger drink?” I asked. “ Lizzie, did roger drink?” no reply. “Lizze, tell me the truth!”. “ okay, okay! I let him drive home knowing he drunk. I had too! He needed to get home and so did May! He told me he didn’t have a lot, and I believed him. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Kate”. “ GOD DAMNIT LIZZIE! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?” “I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry”. The ambulance pulled up and pronounced them dead the scene.

June 11th 2009
Dear Diary
Who knew it would happen so fast? I didn’t, and I surely wasn’t expecting it. I mean one day I’m getting in my car driving home from the end of school party, and the next my whole life has been ruined. I can’t believe I was so stupid. I should have never let her stay at that party. I should have insisted on taking her home with me or staying. WHY DID I DO THAT! HOW WAS I SO STUPID TO TRUST TEENAGERS AND ALCOHOL. I’m sorry may. I should have never let you stay. GOD, HELP ME! Why would you kill off such a precious girl? SHE DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING WRONG. I DID. I deserve to die. God, take me, and give her back! She deserves so much better. She must have been so scared. Did she even know what was happening to her? Did it hurt. May, talk to me! Please! I’m so lonely without you! I miss you so much! I RUINED EVERYTHING. I should have insisted. I should have said NO.

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