Betty the Baker

May 18, 2010
By lindzy14 GOLD, Lawrence, Kansas
lindzy14 GOLD, Lawrence, Kansas
10 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Betty the Baker only baked foods starting with “b”. Betty thought “b” was best; only “b” foods blazed in her oven. Bad luck would become if not- her baneful superstition.

“Best because B’s are bountifully beautiful!” she blurted to Bob, her beloved boyfriend, while she braised the beef and blanched the broccoli for brunch blissfully. Bob believed her baking was berserk! Anything but brilliant. They bickered boundlessly because it became unbearably bothersome to him. He was bored with bacon, biscuits, and bread and butter. Bagels, brownies, bratwurst, burritos, beets, berries, bananas! The B’s were becoming too burdensome to bear!

Bob decided to bake muffins while Betty was bowling with her buddies. He beat the batter and brought it to the oven. Betty burst through the door, baffled by the smell, and barely believed her blue eyes!

“Blasted butter belled banana bullocks!” she boldly cursed. “You boorish baby biter!”

She stared at him bitterly. She was basically blinded by the belittling sight of her betraying boyfriend. She bemoaned his lack of benevolence and breathlessly bragged that “b” was best. She babbled her bad revenge and barreled out the kitchen.

Before bed, Betty the Baker belligerently brewed up a brand new recipe. She buoyantly boiled, baste, beat, and braised her ingredients, boosting the begrudging taste with blueberries and basil. She blithely blended her brew. She beamed, a barbarous grin bearing on her face. As she put the batter into the burning oven, she thought, Good thing his name is Bob.

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