Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Wishing This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


   I watch over her. Shewatches TV and I notice where she chooses to sit. "If you watch the screentoo close, your eyes will go bad," I told her. She listened. I only wish sheknew it was me who reminded her. I watch her in the morning silently reciting theLord's Prayer as she cleans and flosses her teeth. I taught her that. I watch hergo off to school prepared for all the tests and responsibilities. I encouragedher to be organized. And as organized as she may be, I wish she knew I helpedthat loose paper stay put and kept that pencil from rolling off the desk. I watchher grow in her relationships with her friends and teachers, and Ismile.

She will be fine. I still wish she knew I would be happy to patchup any bad friendships. I watch her as she goes about her after-school activitiesand the pride she feels for herself. I am so proud of her. Yet, I wish she knewit was me who inched that extra bit of motivation into her head. I watch her tryher hardest every day, and although she may fail, her spirits are lifted for hernext challenge. Although I know she will pass and fail on her own, I wish sheknew I would love to help her memorize the word she forgot to study. I watch hersigh in relief when the day is over. I'm happy for her.

Nevertheless, Ijust wish she knew I want to stop those negative parts of life from blindsidingher. I watch her doze off, and hope she dreams of wonderful things. But I wishshe knew I pushed those lids a little more than I should have, and made surethose bed bugs weren't out tonight. I wish she knew how much I love and missbeing a part of her life.

***

I think of him when I watch TV andsee all those happy families. I wish he knew I would sit a mile away from thescreen in order to watch a single show with him. I wish he knew those familiesare nothing compared to what we were. I brush and floss my teeth in the morning,and although I say the Lord's Prayer as he taught me, I always say a prayer forhim, too. I wish he knew I would brush my teeth for hours just to see him smileand tell one of his jokes again. I wish he knew the reason I smile so much isbecause of the huge part of him that is still living in me.

I arrangeeverything in an organized way, including my memories, that are neatly stacked ontop of everything, reminding me of all the great times we shared. I wish he knewI will always miss him and would throw away every piece of paper to start a newstack of memories with him.

I make new friends, and sometimes strainrelations with old ones. I wish he knew that I smile during these times. I wishhe could see that if he were with me I wouldn't care about making everythingperfect, and I would be so grateful for what I had that nothing else wouldmatter.

I practice basketball and soccer, my two biggest enjoyments, andlove making that three-pointer or scoring that goal. I wish he knew how lonely Ifeel without him, and so, instead of accomplishment, I feel defeat. I wish heknew how often I am lost without him.

I learn those irritating vocabularywords day after day and I will pass and fail on my own. But I wish he realizedhow much of my motivation is from wanting to please him. I am comforted by thefact that I made it another day in this often cruel world. I wish he knew myfeelings of comfort come from knowing I haven't forgotten him. God, I wish heknew a hug could make a world of difference for me, and I felt like the good-byewas not properly given.

I drift into dreamland and rest my mind. But if adream is a wish your heart makes, I only wish he knew how full my dreams are ofemotions straight from my heart wanting to see him and to be with him for justone day. I wish he knew how much I love and miss him being a part of my life.




This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






Join the Discussion

This article has 3 comments. Post your own now!

viva la dolce said...
Jul. 11, 2009 at 2:29 am
Wow! That was beautiful! I love that story! Great work!
 
His-Bright-Green-Eyes... said...
Jul. 10, 2009 at 4:03 pm
very beautiful!
 
GabiGiggles said...
Jul. 9, 2009 at 11:13 pm
I LOVE all of the articles on teen Ink.
 
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback