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They stood there, waiting in the dark. There were only three of them. All you could see of them was their fuzzy outline staring at the house. Finally, the last light went off at the upper right hand corner of the house.
“Let's go boys,” said one of them. They quickly scurried onto the porch of the house and up to the door.
“You know, this would be a lot easier if we could reach the doorknob,” said the second.
“Oh, shut up!” said the first one again, he seemed to be the leader, “Just get on my shoulders!”. So, one by one, the raccoons stacked up so they could reach the doorknob. The top raccoon slid his claw into the key hole, and with just a few clicks, the door opened.
“Ha ha,” said the lock picker with sneer, “You gotta love these opposable thumbs!” he said as he flexed his fingers, “Woah!” he yelled as he tumbled to the ground, knocking over the other two in the process.
“Why do you always have to be so clumsy?” asked the second one, rubbing his arm.
The raccoons stood up, and the center one slowly kicked the door open. The three of them stood in the doorway, knees bent, and paws raised in case the owners were to hear them. Their intentions were not evil, although the natural black mask around their eyes would beg to differ. No, they were not bandits, they were hungry. The raccoons in the neighborhood had not been careful in cleaning up after themselves once they raided someone's garbage can. So, the people would wake up in the morning to find their garbage can on its side, and garbage spewed all over their driveway. Before the raccoons could stash up on food, all of the garbage can lids were replaced with high-tech lids. Lids specially designed to keep out the starving little animals. Now, for the raccoons, feeding themselves was a challenge. Every night, they would break into a new house to raid its fridge.
The raccoons crept down the small hallway, but stopped once they heard a noise from upstairs.
“Just go back to bed, honey”. It sounded like a woman.
“But, Mommy, I'm thirsty!” said a young girl.
“Alright, let's get you some water” said the mother. Then, the raccoons heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
“Let's get outta here!” yelled the second raccoon.
“No time! Just hide!” said the leader. The head raccoon jumped into the garbage can, the second one hid under the sink, but the third clumsy one couldn't find a good spot! He couldn't find any spot at all! Just as the small girl and her mother walked into the kitchen, the raccoon curled into a ball on the floor, hoping they would not see him. The girl's mother went over to the cupboard above the sink to get a cup, and started to fill it with tap water. All of a sudden, the raccoon felt himself being picked up off the ground! “Help me!” he yelled to the other raccoons as the floor got farther from him, but the girl and her mother only heard a squeal.
“Sarah! Put that thing down!” the mother yelled as she put the cup down with a look of disgust. “Come over here!” she motioned towards the back door, “Put it outside!”.
“Aww, but look how lonely he looks, Mommy. Please let me keep him! He's smaller than a dog!”
“Sarah, we are not keeping a stray raccoon” said the girl's mother sternly.
“Fine,” she said as she stroked the raccoon, “But he looks hungry”.
“Ok, put it outside. I will get some food”. As she turned towards the fridge, the other two raccoons made a break for the door, and got out safely. The girl placed the klutzy raccoon outside, and the mother put out some cheese and vegetables for him.
“Goodnight, raccoon” the small girl waved as her mother closed the door. The raccoons stayed in the yard and feasted.
“See, I got us plenty of food!” said the clumsy raccoon with his mouth full of food.
“Yes, you did,” said the next one.
“You did,” agreed the leader, “But next time, why don't you try a different strategy?” he said with a grin. The other raccoons laughed, and quietly left the yard.