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The Art to Gossip
ANGELA is Angela Jackson ,18, the “leader” of the pack
DENVER is Denver Faye ,17, the pretty new girl, and she knows it. Taking Angela’s position
MIMI is Mimi Little ,18, the quiet one, best friends with Angela
GIRL is an apprentice Angela hires
In girls’ bathroom during passing period. The senior girls are throwing on makeup, straightening already burned hair, and gossiping. There is little room in front of the mirror for the drama that’s going down.
(enter Angela from bathroom door.)
ANGELA: Ok move. (pushes girls’ stuff off counter)
DENVER and MIMI: (unison) Hello Angela how are you today?
ANGELA: Awful! Just awful. Uh. The posters went up today for Prom!
DENVER: (excited) Omg no they did not! Ahh what’s the theme? I hope its princess or like something sexy.
ANGELA: Denver shut up! You’re totally missing the point! I’m the most popular girl, and I don’t have a date yet! (hyperventilating) Omg, Omg, Omg, Omg Mimi get me my effing bag!
MIMI: (tosses Angela brown bag) Are you ok Angela?
ANGELA: (huffs in bag) YES! Of course I’m fine now! I’m Angela Jackson. Now girls I need a date!
DENVER: Umm, Angela we don’t have dates either…. (impatiently) and what is the theme?
ANGELA: Denver you’re so stupid! Stop! Okay? I don’t care if you don’t have dates. And the theme is celebrity. I NEED ME A JOHNNY DEPP!
MIMI: Johnny Depp is sooo hot Angela. Good choice.
ANGELA: I know right? God I’m so smart! Now I just need to think. Who in this school is my Johnny Depp. OMG! (grabs Mimi’s arm) Radford Skye!
DENVER: (outburst) Radford! No, no, no, no, no! Angela your not his type!
ANGELA: Oh! I’m basically a Megan Fox.
DENVER: I was thinking more of a Lindsey Lohan, personally
ANGELA: As if I could ever look that fringy guh!
MIMI: You’re totally a Megan Angela. No question about it.
DENVER: Your still not his type.
ANGELA: Oh yeah? How would you know his type?
DENVER: (aside) maybe because he likes me better than your flabby self.
ANGELA: WHAT! What was that you sl**!
MIMI: Angela breathe. (to Denver) Not now she can’t handle this.
ANGELA: MIMI SHUT UP! I can handle this just perfectly. (to Denver) You little traitor! You think Radford Skye would want to take you to Prom?
MIMI: (aside) I’d love to go to Prom with Radford Skye.
DENVER: UM WHAT!? What was that you little mouse? Oh little quiet girl’s got a crush on Radford. He’s out of your league MiMi. Radford would go with me over both of you in a heartbeat!
MIMI: (defensively) I’ve had a crush on him since 3rd grade! And I’d rather be a mouse than a cow! Yes Denver I’m calling your dumba** fat!
DENVER: OMG I am so going to rip out your singed hair. I have been working out for my whole life. My butt is carved out of wood! (girls start to grab at each others nappy hair)
ANGELA: GIRLS STOP IT! RADFORD’S MINE! Give him to me or neither of you are invited to my grad party.
DENVER: Why would we ever attend such a buzz kill. Angela everyone hates you.
MIMI: (stops grabbing Denver’s hair and nods) Angela it’s kind of true. You’re a major controlling b*****!
ANGELA: OMFG I HATE YOU GUYS! (starts to violently lash and cry)
(girls tug hair, slap faces, and throw insults until interrupted by phones dinging.)
DENVER: (stops fighting and looks a text message) What a sleeze! Girls, Radford’s taking Rachael Birch to Prom!
ANGELA: (screams) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (mentally breaks down on floor).
MIMI: (fixes hair) Rachael Birch!? RACHAEL BIRCH?! She has the personality of a rock! Ugh, What’s wrong with boys!
DENVER: More like what’s wrong with girls. (both look into mirror) We look awful!
MIMI: Denver I’m sorry. You’re so totally not fat. I just I don’t know I’ve never had a date to a dance.
DENVER: I understand and your over processed hair isn’t that fried. (both hug)
MIMI: Hey should we help Angela?
DENVER: No, the bells about to ring and I have to get to my math class.
MIMI: OMG yeah I can’t be late to Mr. Kim’s class again. Bye Denver.
DENVER: Later b*****! (smiles)
(the girls exit and the bell rings. Several minutes pass and Angela gets up)
ANGELA: (sniffling) Girls? Girls where are you? Hellooo? (sarcastically) Hello where did everyone go? That’s sooo terrible that Radford’s asking little Rachael Birch. Blah Blah Blah wahhh.
(girl steps out of stall with opened phone.)
GIRL: That was perfect Angela. You’re so smart! Now nobody will think to ask Radford if he’s already “going” with little Rachael.
ANGELA: Yes well I am Angela Jackson and creativity is my middle name! Thanks for sending out that text haha. Now I have me a Radford to catch! (smacks lips, adjusts bra, exits)
GIRL: Ahhh she’s just the coolest.