Best friends and their secrets

April 6, 2010
My best friend 3 years ago told me his biggest secret. He was gay, I at the time didn’t understand but it didn’t change the fact that he was my best friend until a week ago. Well before I explain let me tell you little bit about our friendship.

We would hang out all over the place like go shopping, to the movies where-ever. I even told him my darkest secrets and he promised me he would never tell another living soul. I believed him .Sometimes i would even bring him up to my bedroom to show him my art work and we would just talk .We were so close that sometimes i forgot he was even a boy because he never cared if i wanted to watch corny chick flicks or go play on a set of drums, because to him I was a real friend someone who wouldn’t ever judge.

As the years past he was still my best friend and we still kept each other’s secrets to ourselves so only our minds could view our spoken words. One day I realized how cute he was and it scared me because i knew he would never be more than a friend to me. So I pushed him away I put the image of him to the back of my mind. When he would call i would let it go to voicemail, when he signed on to aim i would sign out and when he came to my house looking for me i would be as quiet as possible to make him think i wasn’t home.
It became really easy to avoid contact with him, it was like a game to me keeps him away my heart stays intact let him get close and loose all sanity. Days and weeks past and he kept trying to fix things he was motivated to keep me then all my boyfriends combined. After awhile he finally gave up and i was free and my heart wouldn’t have to hurt anymore..

I still hurt though but not in the lovesick way more like aching for my other side my amigo my best friend. I decided it didn’t matter what my heart wanted because deep down i knew our friendship meant more to my heart then any crush ever would. I figured he wouldn’t talk to me though if I tried to patch things up. Why would he, it’s not like I listened to him or even tried to let him back in my life. But he did cause when we were younger we made a pack to each other for life. Everything was back to normal i had my best friend again but it didn’t feel the same..

Last week we were watching TV when a commercial came on and he began to talk, he explained to me how much it hurt him that i was trying to avoid any contact with him. I agreed that it hurt me as well. Then it was dead quite because when i started to confess my secret emotions I blurted out my biggest secret. "i love you”. He didn’t say one word after that instead he said four. "I love you too. Which made me completely freak because he didn’t understand i meant more than a friend I meant as in girl likes her cute gay best friend? As I processed this all in my very complex thought box he opened his mouth again to talk but somewhere along the line I missed every word.Or maybe that’s because he didn’t say any words ;)

So I’m guessing you’re wondering what happened between us right, well let’s just say best friends don’t tell each other’s secrets or in this case our secret

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